


Unbidden Forbidden

by CMRandles



Series: Unbidden Forbidden [1]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Choking, Developing Relationship, Dubious Consent, Explicit Sexual Content, Injury, M/M, Not Happy, Rough Sex, Violence, Where'd all this plot come from I was just trying to write sexy bits, captive!Tony, hydra!cap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-06 18:23:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8764033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMRandles/pseuds/CMRandles
Summary: “Now you know my secret. And I know yours,” Steve whispered against the shell of his ear.Tony shivered. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say. His mouth was dry.“You and I….we’ve always been close, haven’t we?” Steve drawled. He sounded dangerous. “But not close enough for you.”“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tony said and was utterly betrayed by the weakness of his voice.Steve chuckled. His hand came up to rest on Tony’s bare shoulder, leather gloves warmed by the heat of his skin. Tony jolted at his touch and shut his eyes when Steve let his hand slide lower, pressing hard against the other man's breastbone. “You’re not fooling anyone. I’ve known for a long time. Years, Tony. It’s written all over your face when we’re together. You want me.”----In which Tony stumbles into Captain America the secret Hydra Agent and pays for his mistake in a manner entirely unanticipated.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's worth noting that while this fic is inspired by the Steve Rogers comic book storyline in which our beloved hero is a secret Hydra agent, there is not even a whiff of consistency with that universe here. This idea was sparked by a piece of fanart that simply took my breath away and gave me the kind of writing fever that only comes when inspiration takes hold and shakes me vigorously.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

There weren’t any nazi octopus murals on the roof, but nevertheless it was pretty clearly a Hydra base. Tony Stark had seen some evil lairs in his time, so many he once considered making a coffee table book, and this place checked all the boxes. Remote? Check. Isolated? Check. Creepy? Double check. Yes, there was definitely something rotten in Denmark - or rather, Iceland. 

His sensors did not detect any kind of forcefield or high tech security system, so Iron Man risked flying lower. He had promised the team he wouldn’t kick down any doors today, this was simply a reconnaissance mission. He did not observe anyone coming or going as he flew around, which seemed odd. Usually these places were buzzing hives of unscrupulous activity. 

“Maybe no one’s home,” he mused to himself. This notion, true or not, made the temptation to take a closer look too enticing to ignore. He flew lower, eyes peeled for any kind of interference. 

He made it all the way to the ground, hanging back in the thick of the forest and casting about for any sign he had been made. Nothing. “This is weird,” he whispered as his good fortune transformed into a bad feeling. Still, though, better to be sure. His promise to stick to surveillance vanished into so much smoke. 

He crept up to the building, reading the continual feed of diagnostic information on his HUD.  _ Maybe this place is abandoned _ , he thought as he made his way to one of the side entrances that seemed the least obvious mode of entry. This really was a job for Wasp, she was much better at sneaking, but Tony was impatient. There were too many Hydra bases popping up all over the world to risk taking his sweet time. 

There was a keypad on the door and Tony approached it with ill intent. He was just preparing to crack the code when his HUD flashed red. Someone was coming. Tony flew up to the roof and ducked back, waiting as the door opened and a figure in black emerged. He was a big guy with a head of yellow hair and looked to be on his own. Tony watched for a moment, then let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. 

“What the...Steve!” he said as loudly as he dared, coming out of his hiding place and landing beside his long-time friend. “What the hell are you doing here?” 

Steve did not look happy to see him. His blue eyes were wide and startled, then hardened with suspicion. “I should ask you the same thing.” 

Tony was stung. “I was here checking out intel that this is a Hydra base of operations.” He glanced at Steve’s outfit, a heavy black sweater and gray slacks, “I’m guessing you’re here on some kind of undercover op?” 

The big man hesitated. He looked angry, furious almost. He turned and punched in a code on the door, then opened it. “Come on,” he ordered. His tone did not leave room for argument. 

Tony did not immediately comply. Something was off, he could feel it. He opened his mouth to ask what was going on when Steve grabbed him by the arm and physically propelled him through the door. Even in the suit Tony was no match for the super soldier’s strength. 

“Wanna tell me what’s going on?” he demanded once they were inside. The place was dingy and dark, barely lit by ancient guttering lights set into the walls. 

“It’s complicated,” Steve said shortly and started walking. “Come on,” he demanded. 

Not liking it one little bit, Tony did. His sensors did not pick up any other life in the surrounding area, but presented him with a steady feed of all available data. “What is this place?” he asked, hurrying to keep up with Steve’s long strides. 

The soldier did not answer him. He led Tony down a maze of corridors and into a room at the end of a long empty hallway. Steve shut the door behind them and when he turned, Tony swore under his breath. 

“These guys need a new decorator,” he said, staring up at the giant Hydra symbol painted in what looked like dried blood on the wall. It was at least eight-feet tall. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” Steve said from behind him. 

Tony glanced back. Steve was standing by a table stacked high with all kinds of tech junk. A quick analysis revealed bits and pieces that might have once belonged to a very large missile. Tony felt a chill go down his spine. 

“Did I cut in on your dance, Cap? If so, it wasn’t intentional. No one knew you were out here.” 

“Yeah, well, that’s the idea,” Steve said, rustling around on the table as though looking for something. 

Tony took in the rest of the room with a frown. There wasn’t much of interest besides the grisly art piece. A few odds and ends, a folding chair, and in one corner of the room a blueprint tacked up on the wall. He approached to get a closer look and let out a quiet curse. “This is one of mine,” he breathed, snatching it up. “From years ago. We never put it into production, though, it was too-” 

All of the air left Tony’s lungs in a rush. His back and side exploded in agony and he dropped to his knees. He twisted to look behind him and pain burned up his back in a searing wave. Steve crouched behind him, his expression hard, his hand on the hilt of the blade that was buried in Tony’s back. 

“You really shouldn’t have come,” he murmured and pressed down. An electric current burned through the blade of the knife and into its victim. 

The world went dark and Tony knew no more. 

  
  


The first thing he was aware of was cold. That was not, he figured, a good sign. Tony opened his eyes slowly and saw only shadows. The hulking shapes of furniture loomed in the distance but he could not make sense of them. The room around him was small and one might have called it cozy if it weren’t so fucking creepy. 

_ Steve. _ It was his first coherent thought and jolted him immediately to awareness. He tried to feel his side where he had been stabbed, but found that his hands were bound to the chair behind him. Oh, and he was naked. Well, not  _ completely  _ naked; he had worn boxer shorts today and that was a blessing because he had been stripped of all else. Which also explained why he was freezing. Shivering, he tested his bonds and found not the least amount of give. Yeah, he didn’t really expect that to work. Steve was pretty good at knots. 

His side didn’t hurt nearly enough for the kind of injury he had sustained. He craned his neck to see in the semi-darkness and observed a dark smear along his skin, but nothing else. Huh. 

Emotionally he vacillated between concerned confusion and an eerie sense of calm. This was Steve after all. Maybe he had been possessed, or had his mind controlled by some ancient artifact. Things like that did happen with some regularity.

“STEVE!” he yelled to the empty room. He stomped his feet and banged the legs of the chair against the floor. “HEY! ROGERS!” 

Tony kept up the racket until the door to the room opened letting in the light from the hallway. Steve’s body filled the doorway. He would have known that silhouette anywhere. 

“Hey,” Tony said with a charming smile. “I know this is a hostage situation, but do you think I could get a blanket? It’s fucking cold in here.” 

Steve stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. Tony tried to see his face, but it was obscured in the gloom. His entrance let in another icy draft and Tony began shivering in earnest. 

“Do you mind telling me what the actual fuck is going on here?” Tony asked around his chattering teeth. 

Steve moved to the opposite wall and knelt down. He ignored his captive and instead fiddled with something unseen. In a few minutes a small flame appeared in what Tony could now identify as a fireplace. 

“Aw, this is nice,” he said. “Are we gonna have cocoa and tell scary stories? I want mine with those little marshmallows.” 

Steve rose and approached. He crouched down and now Tony could see his face very clearly. His eyes were bright and intent. His lips were curled into a smile, and it was not pleasant.

“You just don’t know when to shut up, do you?” he said in a low voice. 

Tony stared into the face of his best friend. “You stabbed me.” 

Steve nodded and his eyes flicked down to Tony’s skin. 

“I got better.” 

“Mmhm,” Steve agreed, rising and moving behind Tony and out of sight. “One of our latest inventions. You made for a convenient test subject.” 

“Gosh, that sounds swell. Is it safe to assume that by ‘our’ you’re now talking about Hydra?” 

“You’re a smart guy, Tony. You tell me.” 

He sighed and laid his head back on the uncomfortable chair. “Steve. Just tell me what’s going on.” 

Steve’s voice was suddenly right in his ear, his breath coming in warm puffs against Tony’s neck. It made him jump. “You’re right, Tony. I do know you. Want me to tell you what I know?” 

“That would...help,” he managed. It suddenly didn’t feel quite so cold in here anymore, and that had nothing to do with the now-roaring fire. 

“Now you know my secret. And I know yours,” Steve whispered against the shell of his ear. 

Tony shivered. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say. His mouth was dry. 

“You and I….we’ve always been close, haven’t we?” Steve drawled in a manner very inconsistent with the big friendly man Tony had always known. He sounded dangerous. Tony’s cock, traitor that it was, stirred.  __ “But not close enough for you.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tony said and was utterly betrayed by the weakness of his voice. 

Steve chuckled. His hand came up to rest on Tony’s bare shoulder, leather gloves warmed by the heat of his skin. Tony jolted at his touch and shut his eyes when Steve let his hand slide lower, pressing hard against the other man's breastbone. “You’re not fooling anyone. I’ve known for a long time. Years, Tony. It’s written all over your face when we’re together. You want me.” 

Tony did not argue. His eyes were squeezed shut. Steve’s gloved fingers flicked over a nipple, bringing it to hardness, and Tony gasped. 

“Oh, I like that sound,” Steve groaned in his ear. He pinched Tony’s nipple, harder. “Do it again.” 

“If you...wanted to fuck me, Steve, all you had to do was ask,” Tony grunted. 

Steve’s hand stilled. He moved away suddenly leaving Tony achingly hard and very cold. “I didn’t think it would be you,” he said after a moment. “Here. I knew the team was searching for locations, but I thought they would send one of the younger ones. I heard you were out of the game.” 

“I am.”

“And?” 

“Retirement is boring.” 

Steve snorted. “You’ll never retire.” 

“That’s probably true. You on the other hand, you’ve picked up an interesting hobby in your declining years.” 

“You’re taking this awfully well.” 

“My money’s on alien mind control at the moment.” 

“Ah. Denial.” 

“My favorite river,” Tony confirmed. 

“Someday,” Steve said, reappearing in the corner of his vision, “maybe I’ll tell you the whole story. For now, though, I’m faced with the difficult decision of what to do with you.” 

“Oh good,” Tony sighed, rolling his eyes. “We’re getting into cliche villain talk now. Can we just not? We both know better.” 

Steve regarded him, firelight dancing over his handsome features. “You’re right. Let’s try something more original.” 

He bent over Tony so that their faces were inches apart. He smelled like fire-smoke and aftershave. The other man was determined not to flinch and stared right back, clenching his jaw in defiance. Steve reached out and ran his hands over Tony’s bare shoulders, barely touching. Fingers tickled down his arms to the restraints and with a single sharp tug the ropes gave way. God, he was strong. That was not something Tony needed to be reminded of right now. 

Steve stepped back and Tony was free. 

“I have to say, I did not see that coming.” 

“You’re defenseless, Tony. I’m not exactly worried about what you’re going to do to me.” In his eyes was the unspoken end to that sentence, full of promises about what Steve was going to do to  _ him _ . 

Tony shivered. He stood up unsteadily on his feet and ran his hands over the spot on his side where the knife had penetrated earlier. The skin was whole and unmarked without so much as a scar. “That’s a neat trick,” he admitted. 

When he looked up Steve was standing with his hands in his pockets staring at him. He didn’t look like a Hydra operative. He looked like the man Tony had lived with, and fought beside, and loved for much of his adult life. His chest ached and a wave of exhaustion overtook him.

“What do you want, Steve?” 

The big man came close. “As I said, I didn’t think it would be you. But...well, maybe it’s best to think of this as an opportunity rather than an accident.” 

Tony gave him a hard look. Mostly naked, aroused, and trying to figure out what to do with his hands, he knew he did not make an intimidating figure. Certainly not compared to Steve who was in complete control and staring at him like they had all the time in the world. 

“You’re trying so hard, Tony. You always have. You’ve worked your whole life and for what? Where did it get you? You’re all alone now.” He took a step closer, almost touching. “Aren’t you tired?” 

“Of course I am.” 

Steve brought his hand up to Tony’s face, pressing his finger against the seam of the darker man’s mouth. “Open,” he said quietly. Tony did without knowing why. Steve put his gloved finger into Tony’s mouth, making him wince at the unpleasant taste. “Bite.” 

Tony bit down, not hard, and Steve withdrew his hand from the glove. Tony spat it on the floor. “What-” he began again, but the questions died in his throat when Steve brought his bare hand up to cradle Tony’s face with surprising gentleness. Just a simple touch. Something inside of Tony broke and he nearly sobbed. 

“Don’t fight,” Steve said and leaned down. They kissed. 

Their first kiss, something Tony had spent many fevered nights imagining and it was here in an Hydra base while he was being held captive by Captain America who, it turned out, had been a traitor all along. Steve was gentle at first, moving their lips together as though they were lovers. Then he deepened the embrace, his hand sliding around to the base of Tony’s skull where he snatched a fist-full of dark hair in a savage hold. The smaller man  hissed in pain and pulled his mouth away. Steve tightened his grip, grinning. He dragged Tony closer so he could whisper in his ear again. 

“You’re going to be mine, Tony. Do you know how I know that? You haven’t tried to leave once. You haven’t so much as struggled. You want this as much as I do. Maybe all you’ve been waiting for is someone who knows how to master you.” 

“Get off me,” Tony insisted between gritted teeth. 

“I don’t think so,” Steve said, snaking his other hand down to squeeze the front of Tony’s boxers. He gasped. “I don’t think that’s what you really want.” 

Tony had never been so hard in his life. It was making cognition difficult. 

Steve’s hand still in the glove pushed down the waistband of Tony’s boxers and his dick sprang free. His captor stroked it lightly, leather dragging against the smooth skin. Tony bit his lip so hard it nearly drew blood. The hand in his hair pulled, forcing the smaller man up onto the balls of his feet, making his back arch. 

“Agh, you fuck!” Tony cried. He reached up and clung to Steve’s muscular arm, trying to give himself some leverage, but it did little good. Steve’s hold on him was complete and total. 

Steve fisted Tony’s cock roughly, painfully. Tony growled, gritting his teeth against the onslaught of sensation. Just as he was about to demand that the other man stop, plead even, Steve tilted his head and spit on Tony’s dick. It should not have turned him on half as much as it did. Steve smeared the saliva around with his hand and now the leather was warm and slick and felt  _ incredible _ . 

For some unknowable time, Tony lost himself. Between the unnatural position his body was forced into, the discomfort of his hair being viciously pulled, the overwhelming pleasure on his cock, and the fact that it was Steve - Steve! - doing all of this to him Tony began to lose touch with reality. Maybe this was all some incredibly erotic dream, a fantasy he had cooked up after too many nights alone. Steve pressed against him and he could feel the bigger man’s straining erection through his pants. 

“I’m going to fuck you, Tony,” Steve promised. His voice was thick with desire. “Tell me how much you want it.” 

Tony did not answer right away. Steve was stroking his cock faster and he found himself embarrassingly close to coming. His captor picked up on this and stopped abruptly, removing his hand. Tony whined petulantly at the loss of contact. The hand in his hair was the next to go, leaving Tony stumbling. He caught himself before he fell and watched as Steve whipped off that heavy gray sweater. 

He’d seen Steve’s body before. His uniform was ripped, burned, or physically torn from him often enough that Tony had put together a fairly accurate mental image. It was nothing compared to the real deal. His upper body  was a hairless landscape of sculpted musculature that would make a bodybuilder weep. He raised his chin, letting Tony drink in the sight of him, before stepping forward and pulling him tight once more. Their bodies met, skin against skin, and Tony couldn’t stop himself from touching. Steve let him explore freely, eyes locked on Tony’s face as he ran a hand over Steve’s chest and down his abs. If they had come together under different circumstances Tony would have told him how gorgeous he was, how hot. But here, in this place, with fear and arousal pulsing through him in equal measure, such words of endearment seemed wrong. 

Steve took one of Tony’s hands in his and guided it to the front of his trousers. Tony squeezed reflexively, pulling a sigh from Steve’s parted lips. His cock was  _ huge _ and hard as a rock. Tony felt dizzy. 

“Get down there,” Steve growled, pushing at his shoulders. Tony went to his knees. His fingers fumbled with the fly of Steve’s pants until he finally got them open and pushed down the man’s muscular legs. His underwear came next and suddenly Tony found himself faced with the largest cock he had ever seen in his life. It was a sight to behold. 

Sensing his hesitation, Steve wrapped his fingers in Tony’s hair again and forced him to look up. His face was the very picture of lust, lips wet, eyes hooded. It was a sight Tony hoped never to forget. 

“Is this what you imagined, Tony?” 

In response, Tony opened wide and took in as much of Steve’s cock as he could manage. It was a tight fit, but he did his best. The man above him groaned, resting his hands on Tony’s shoulders. 

“Ah, god, you’re good at that. I should have known.” 

Tony flicked the underside of Steve’s cock with his tongue, prompting a loud grunt of pleasure. He brought to bear all of the tricks he had acquired over a long career of debauchery and employed them with skill. Steve was satisfyingly noisy, grunting and cursing and goading him on. 

It was all too much. Tony snaked a hand down and started massaging his own cock, fisting it like a man on a mission. He took the head of Steve’s cock down his throat and the other man shouted his pleasure. Then he felt those vicious fingers in his hair once more, tugging his mouth away. He pulled off, leaving a long string of drool connecting his lips to Steve’s dick. 

“Stop,” Steve commanded. Tony’s hand stilled and he let out a groan of protest. “We’re barely getting started. Come here.” 

He pulled and Tony rose, arching his neck in an effort to relieve the pressure on his scalp. Steve held him fast, stepping out of his pants and kicking his shoes off at the same time. His eyes went to Tony, traveling down his body with an appreciative gaze. It was almost enough to make a fella blush. 

“Steve,” he started and then didn’t know what else to say.  _ We shouldn’t be doing this. Why didn’t we do it sooner? How long have you been betraying us? Let me go. Don’t ever let me go.  _ Tony felt like he might go insane. 

He released Tony’s hair and spun him around so that his back was pressed against Steve. One muscular arm came up to rest across Tony’s throat while the other grabbed him around the middle. Steve tipped his head down so his mouth was on Tony’s ear again. He was breathing much faster now. 

“Tell me how much you want it,” Steve commanded again. His hand toyed with the hair on Tony’s abdomen, petting it flat against his skin. 

“What are we doing?” Tony asked, closing his eyes. 

“What I want.” 

“You...we can’t do this.” 

“But we are. And you want it.” His hand moved lower, giving Tony’s cock a rough stroke that made him cry out. “Tell me.” 

“Of course I want you,” Tony said in a rush, “But-” 

Steve reached down and squeezed his balls so hard Tony saw stars. “Agh!” 

“You are thinking too much, Tony. Always a problem with you. I’d like to fuck every single solitary thought out of your head. How does that sound?” 

Tony could only wheeze, still overwhelmed by pain. The arm against his throat tightened. 

“Yes,” he wheezed. “Yes, Steve. Fuck me.” 

The big man groaned, pressing his cock against the crack of Tony’s ass. “That’s what I want to hear. Get on the bed.” 

He gave Tony a little shove which sent him sprawling in the direction of the twin bed. Tony hadn’t noticed it before, tucked away in the corner of the room by the fireplace. He walked to it now and hesitated, looking back at Steve. He stood watching Tony with obvious appreciation, firelight dancing on the planes of his incredible body. 

“On your back,” he said. 

Tony got onto the bed which creaked terribly and lay down on the cool sheets on his back. His erection, which had flagged when his balls were smashed, sprang back into life when Steve loomed over him, looking at him the way a lion observes a particularly juicy gazelle. He was holding a little bottle of something, probably lube, though Tony didn’t want to think about why he had such things on hand. 

Steve bent over Tony and kissed him again, all passion and intensity. Tony returned the embrace, running his fingers through Steve’s golden hair and over the muscles in his shoulders. Steve’s hand closed around his cock and stroked, making Tony moan open-mouthed against Steve’s neck. Steve pressed the bottle into Tony’s hand. “Get me ready.” 

With trembling fingers Tony poured out some of the clear slippery liquid onto his hand and smoothed it on Steve’s cock. Blue eyes fluttered closed and Steve sighed happily. He kissed the side of Tony’s jaw, then bit down hard enough to draw blood. Tony helped and bucked.

“What the fuck?” he demanded, bringing his hand up to check for blood. 

Steve only smiled. “You’re mine, Tony. My toy.” 

He almost objected but at the same moment Steve sat back and guided his cock to Tony’s ass. He jumped, sitting up on his elbows. “Wait, Steve. Hold on. It’s been a while and-” 

Steve was not listening to him. He pressed forward, insistent, unstoppable, and all Tony could do was take it. He cried out, seizing Steve’s arms so hard his fingers dug into the muscle. “Jesus fuck, Steve! I can’t. Ah, god! You have to stop.” 

Steve did not stop. He pushed forward, stretching Tony to the limit and then past. It was brutally painful. “It’s going in there,” Steve hissed. He grabbed Tony’s hands and pushed them into the mattress, holding fast as the smaller man started to struggle. 

Then he was fully seated, his balls pressing against Tony’s ass. Tony panted, tears squeezing from his eyes and running down his cheeks. 

“Look at me,” Steve demanded. 

Tony opened his eyes. Steve looked down on him in triumph and gave one shallow, almost reflexive, thrust. All thoughts of pain were forgotten. Steve’s cock was filling him utterly, putting continuous pressure on his prostate. The stretching that had been so painful became intensely pleasurable with unbelievable speed. Tony groaned, arching his back and Steve gave a grunt of satisfaction. 

“Like that?” he said breathlessly. 

“Steve,” Tony sighed. 

The big man pulled back and slammed his cock home again. Tony screamed and nearly came off the bed entirely. Steve adjusted his hold so that both of Tony’s wrists were captured in one big hand while the other moved to Tony’s hip, holding him right where he wanted. He set a brutal pace, fucking him roughly. 

Orgasm overtook Tony with shocking intensity and speed. He was coming before he scarcely knew what was happening, spurting thick ropes of semen onto Steve’s belly. Steve smeared some on his hand and held it up to Tony’s mouth, forcing his fingers inside. Tony licked his own cum off those thick fingers and, if Steve had asked, he would have begged for more. There was no change in Steve’s pace after Tony’s orgasm had rocked through him. He fucked Tony relentlessly, slamming his hips into Tony hard enough to bruise. All the smaller man could do was thrash his head back and forth and ride the waves of pleasure that crashed through his body. 

Tony came a second time only a few minutes later. He arched his back, crying out Steve’s name in a voice that was almost a sob. Then he collapsed, panting, utterly spent onto the bed. Steve did not let up. 

“I’m not done with you yet,” he promised, releasing Tony’s sore wrists and taking hold of his hips. He lifted Tony’s lower body off the bed and pounded into him with renewed force. Tony became distantly aware of someone screaming. It turned out to be him. 

“Steve, please, I can’t,” he cried, overwhelmed by sensation. He clutched at the other man, desperately trying to find some anchor in this sea of chaos. Steve only smiled at him and twisted one of Tony’s nipples between his fingers, making him yell. 

“Oh, Tony, fuck, I’m gonna come,” he said roughly. “Oh, yeah. Take my come. Take it!” His hips snapped forward again and again and then his hand was on Tony’s throat, squeezing. 

Tony’s air was cut off. He pulled at Steve’s arm, tried to claw with his fingers under the iron grip, but nothing worked. He tried to draw a breath and couldn’t, panicking and spluttering while Steve roared like a dragon and pumped his ass full of cum. Tony’s vision started to go grey at the edges and all at once the pressure was lifted from his throat and he could breathe again. Tony gasped and tried to roll away. Steve’s hands on his shoulders stopped him. He withdrew his cock, making Tony gasp again, then slithered down his body and took Tony’s very sensitive cock in his mouth. 

“Fuck!” he screamed and  _ boom _ ! Orgasm number three. Tony came so hard it was painful. Afterwards he collapsed on the bed, breathing like he had run two marathons back to back. 

Steve spat Tony’s cum onto the floor and crawled up his body. They were both wet, sticky with sweat and lube and cum. Steve’s body pressing down on his still felt intensely pleasurable. Still, there was no way he was going to get hard again, not without medical assistance. 

Steve kissed him hard, all teeth and tongue, and Tony could taste his own spunk. Steve’s hand came up and buried itself in his hair again, pulling so that Tony’s neck was exposed. 

“You’re mine,” he said in a low voice, blue eyes locked on him. “You understand that, don’t you?” 

“They know where I am, Steve. If I don’t report in-” He stopped, not liking the way the bigger man was smiling. 

“I already did. Told them that you and I had met up after you had a little accident. I was going to get you fixed up and then escort you back home.” 

Tony went still. “And? Are you?” 

Steve gave him a look. “What do you think?” 

“You can’t -agh!” he cried out when Steve yanked on his hair, “You can’t just keep me here.” 

“Sure I can. No one is coming to save you.” Steve kissed the side of his neck, darting out his tongue to taste the sweat there. 

“Listen to me,” Tony said urgently, pushing at Steve until he relented, pushing himself up to see the other man’s face. “This….was probably a mistake. But I did it. I wanted to. But hear me when I tell you that I won’t help you undo the work we’ve spent our lives doing.” 

Steve was remarkably unphased by that statement. “We’ll see,” he said lightly, dipping his head to lick Tony’s nipple into hardness. “We’ve got lots and lots of time left, Tony.” 

Tony turned his head away, watching the flames dance on the blank wall and, though it had seemed impossible, feeling himself get aroused once more. Beyond the passion and the obsession and the sex he was left with only one throught:  _ What have I done?  _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The response to my question about an additional chapter was overwhelmingly positive, so here you go! Hot off the press (so to speak). 
> 
> If you're looking for some music to enjoy while you read this fic, may I suggest the song "Madness" by Muse. It is fucking *perfect*. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Sleeping had not been part of the plan. Generally, when one is held captive against one’s will rest doesn’t come easily, if at all. Tony had experienced this before. But this time was different. This time he was warm and comfortable and encircled in solid arms with hands stroking his bare skin. He only realized that he had fallen asleep when he woke up and found himself alone. Someone had tucked him in. Not a huge mystery there.

Tony sat up and immediately regretted it. Not only was his ass unbelievably sore, the room was once again entirely too cold to sustain human life. The fire had guttered to a few glowing embers, leaving him in darkness. He burrowed back under the blankets, rolled onto his stomach, and tried to gather his bearings. He did not get much time in which to do so.

The door opened and Steve stepped in, dressed again in his ‘villain’s christmas photo’ ensemble. Tony would have argued that it was impossible, but the mere sight of the other man flooded him with lust. Memories of what they’d done, what _Steve_ had done to him, swept through his brain and in the time it took to say ‘manhandle’ he had a rager. Tony closed his eyes and chose to feign sleep rather than deal with whatever came next.

He could hear Steve moving around the little area. _Was this Steve’s room? Did he live here while he was working for Hydra? What about the rest of the compound?_ He had neither seen nor heard another living soul since his arrival. _Was Steve going to come over here and touch him again or what?_ Tony cringed at his own base nature. _Am I really this sad?_ He thought, and the only available answer was: Yes.

Steve knelt down beside him next to the fireplace and started working on building it up once more. Tony risked cracking open one eye and was rewarded with a view of Steve’s profile lit by the crackling flames. His brow was furrowed and he seemed to be intensely mulling over some important matter. He prodded the fire a few times to get it going and then turned in Tony’s direction. Tony snapped his eyes shut. He waited.

The big man’s weight settled on the side of the bed, leaning over his captive. Hands smoothed down Tony’s body over the covers, tracing the outline of his form through the fabric. Then the blankets were drawn back and the shock of the still-cold room overwhelmed him.

“Wake up, Tony,” Steve said.

The darker man moaned in protest and curled over himself protectively. Steve rolled him onto his back, pressing his hips into the mattress. He bent down and Tony cried out in shock when Steve swallowed down his cock. All at once nothing else mattered. The world outside could be aflame, hellfire raining down on the innocent countryside and Tony would not have given one single solitary fuck.

“Steve!” he moaned as a tongue caressed the sensitive underside of his cock. His hands tangled in that golden hair, his back arched, and the nerve endings in his body lit up like a circuit board.

Steve’s hands, gloved once more, roamed his lower body. They smoothed over his thighs, his calves, and then up to his balls. He stroked and squeezed there making Tony cry out again as his mouth did its work. It wasn’t the most artful blowjob Tony had ever received, but it was still _Steve_. He came within minutes, yelling hoarsely as he pumped cum into the man of his dreams.

Tony collapsed back onto the bed and Steve rose, spitting into a nearby washcloth.

“Spitters are quitters,” Tony pronounced with a hysterical laugh.

“Good morning,” Steve replied evenly, settling himself, still fully clothed, on top of the smaller man. His muscular thigh insinuated itself between Tony’s legs and made him shiver. That gigantic cock of his was hard, pressing against Tony’s leg through his pants. The other man reached for it - he was polite after all - but Steve grabbed his wrist and held it painfully tight.

“Would you like to hear my plan for the day?” he asked, bringing Tony’s arm up to his mouth. He kissed the sensitive inside of the other man’s wrist, making him whimper. “I am going to see how many times I can make you cum.”

“Steve…”

“Personally, I think we’ll break into double digits before you collapse.”

“Is that your plan to keep me here? Fuck me until I’m braindead?”

Steve smiled and the expression was so familiar it hurt. “You? Braindead? Impossible.”

“I can’t just keep pretending like this,” Tony said in a hollow voice even as Steve sucked one of Tony’s fingers into his mouth.

The blonde did not respond. He was busy giving Tony’s middle finger the same treatment he has just bestowed on regions considerably southward.

“This is bizarre,” Tony observed.

“Tell me what you want.”

Tony sighed. “Pancakes. I want pancakes.”

That made Steve laugh out loud. “Does this look like IHOP to you?”

“No, but surely if you can make a device that undoes your friend literally stabbing you in the back you can figure out how to get some flapjacks, Cap.”

Steve’s smile evaporated. “Don’t call me that.”

Tony was momentarily confused. “What? Cap?”

“Not here.”

“You’re joking, right? Do you have some Hydra codename I should be using instead? _Mein Fuhrer_?”  

Steve bit him. Hard. Tony shouted, sitting up and trying to wrench his hand back from the bigger man, though his struggle was pointless. Blood welled up in the sensitive spot between his thumb and forefinger where Steve’s teeth had clamped down. He released Tony’s hand and he cradled it to his chest protectively, staring at Steve like he’d never seen him before.

“What the _fuck_?” Tony yelled.

“Just a reminder,” Steve said, climbing off the bed and straightening up. He rubbed the front of his pants, adjusting his sizeable erection. “You’re not in Kansas anymore.”

“Ah, _god damn_ this hurts,” he hissed, swiping up the washcloth from the floor and finding a dry spot to wrap around his wound. It was bleeding freely, running down his arm on both sides. Steve looked at his long-time friend like the man had gotten a papercut and was being a big baby about the whole thing.

“Let’s go,” he said and started heading for the door.

“Wait, is there…?” Tony cast about for something to wear. Even his boxers seemed to have vanished.

Steve gave him an unpleasant smile in return. “Mm, I don’t think so. I’d like to see you walk around naked.”

“Steve. It’s below zero.”

The big man shrugged. “You’ll have to figure out a way to keep warm, then, won’t you? Come along.” He swung the door open, admitting a terrible draft. Tony just stared at him.

“Sometimes I can almost convince myself that it’s still you in there.”

“It is me, Tony. It’s always been me. Now hustle up or I’ll just tie you to the bed and leave you here while I eat.”

“You gotta stop with the sweet talk, you’re killing me.” Tony did get up then, and hurry out of the room. He started shivering almost immediately, still clutching the washcloth to his bloody hand. The hallway that had seemed dim when he first arrived here now seemed uncomfortably well-lit. It was probably ten degrees fahrenheit. Tony found he was incapable of covering every part of him that he wanted to at any given moment and so he resigned himself to being terribly cold. His cock shriveled up like a raisin and immediately his balls tried to climb back up inside his body.

As they walked he regarded the grisly mess of his hand. “You may have done permanent damage, asshole,” he growled.

“Good,” Steve said simply, propelling him down the hall with a hand at the small of Tony’s back. He looked entirely too pleased with himself. For what felt like the thousandth time Tony asked himself, _what the fuck is happening here?_

By the time they reached the mess hall, which was all the way at the other end of the building, Tony was trembling uncontrollably. He wrapped his arms around himself but it did little good. Steve shut the door behind them and locked it using a keypad on the wall. Why they needed doors that locked from the inside Tony did not need to inquire.

The dining area was big enough to accommodate a small army with chairs and tables set up throughout the room. There was a modest kitchen with a gas stove and an old-timey giant refrigerator. And, oh thank you Jesus, a coffee maker.

“What is this place?” he asked through chattering teeth.

Steve ignored him, lighting a burner on the stove with a long match. For the first time since he arrived here it occurred to Tony that he ought to try and arm himself. It struck him as an oddly crazy thought. This was Steve. But it was also Steve who had stabbed him in the back and savagely _bit_ him just a few moments ago when Tony had the nerve to backtalk. If anyone else in the entire world had kidnapped him and held him against his will Tony would have figured out a way to fight back by now. He should be trying to get out of here, warning the others, raising the alarm. But...it was Steve. Tony felt like he was going crazy.

“Come here,” Steve ordered, holding out his arms. Tony hurried into them with embarrassing speed. The big man wrapped him up, turning Tony so he could hold his shaking hands out in front of the stove to warm them.

Steve put his chin on Tony’s shoulder, lips brushing gently across his neck. Tony sighed quietly. This was humiliating. Being forced to his knees, walking through the halls naked in the freezing cold, those things he could endure. But this unexpected tenderness was unmanning. He couldn’t stand being taunted with the closeness he had always wanted from Steve. The man he had secretly loved for years tilted his face so he was kissing Tony’s just below the ear, his fingers spreading possessively across his bare chest.

“Stop,” Tony pleaded.

“Stop what?” Steve murmured, mouthing Tony’s earlobe. His lips were soft, his skin smooth. “Loving you?”

“Fuck you,” Tony said furiously, finding his strength. He pushed Steve away with all of his might and succeeded in making him stumble. “ _Fuck_ you!”

He expected a punch or some kind of violent retribution, but nothing came. Steve just looked at him with a mixture of pity and bemusement. “Careful, Tony,” he warned and walked away.

Tony turned back to the stove, unwilling to separate from its warmth. He was angry, frightened, humiliated, and more than a little heartbroken. He tried to get himself under control, but felt so weak with cold and hunger that it was difficult to stay on his feet. He wished he hadn’t pushed Steve away. It felt so good to be held. Fuck.

“I have questions,” he said over his shoulder.

“Hm,” Steve acknowledged with little interest. He pushed a button on the coffee pot and it started percolating. Tony thought it might be the most welcome sound he’d ever heard.

“What’s the plan? Huh? Keep me here and fuck with me indefinitely? You’re going to have to talk to me sometime, Steve. Hell, if you were anyone else I would have found a way to disable you and escape a long time ago.”

Steve turned to him, blue eyes intense. “I’m sure that’s true. And if you were anyone else I would have killed you and thrown your body off the nearest cliff. So…” he spread his hands in a _what are you gonna do_ gesture.

“So? Should I treat you like you’re my enemy?”

That made the other man chuckle. “You’re really asking me? No, Tony. I don’t want you to treat me like your enemy. I’m don’t want to be your enemy-”

“Then what _do_ you want?!” Tony yelled.

Steve set down the mugs he had extracted from the cabinet and stalked over. He had Tony in his arms again, pressed against his broad chest, before the other man hardly knew what was happening. He maneuvered so Tony was backed up against the countertop, his bare ass pressed against the cold marble.

“I want you. On your knees. For me.”

Tony swallowed. He felt dizzy, on the verge of collapsing. His brought his hands up, clutching onto Steve’s arms. He could feel Steve’s cock stirring against his leg and that all by itself made him lose the thread of the conversation.

“I’ll make you a deal,” Steve purred. “You ask a question and I’ll answer. In exchange for an act of submission to me.”

Tony glanced up. Steve was smirking. “Are you serious?”

“Find out.”

He sighed. “This is insane.”

“So you keep telling me.” Steve’s hand came up and stroked the side of his face, a gesture of such care that Tony’s knees did give out then. Steve pulled him tight, keeping him upright with only a fraction of his strength. He grasped Tony’s jaw and tilted it so their eyes met.

“You’re mine, Tony. You just don’t know it yet.”

“Well, then you should feed me or I’m not going to be much use to you,” Tony admitted, as close to begging as he was going to let himself get.

“As you wish,” Steve said, reluctantly pulling away and bustling around the room.

He settled Tony at a table. The metal chair on his naked, abused ass was painfully cold and Tony hissed as he sank onto it. He took the washcloth off his skin and looked at the wound with a sinking feeling in his gut. It had stopped bleeding but his hand was a mess. He tentatively moved his thumb and winced at the pain. The puncture marks immediately started oozing blood again. And he started to shake with cold once more. This was getting fucking tiresome.

Then Steve brought him coffee. It was cheap and terrible and probably had been in that cabinet for damn near a decade, but it might as well have been manna from heaven. Tony wrapped his hands around the mug and took a long drink, burning his tongue and not even caring. Steve plopped an MRE on the table in front of him without the least bit of ceremony.

“That doesn’t look like pancakes,” Tony said archly.

Steve faced him with a dangerous look. “I think I saw some rat droppings in the cupboard if you’d prefer those.”

“Gee, this looks good!” Tony enthused and tucked in. It tasted like cardboard, but he voiced no further objections. He finished his coffee quickly and had two more cups before Steve cut him off.

“I’m not taking you to the bathroom every ten minutes,” the big man explained, plucking the mug from his hands.

“Okay, so, does your deal still stand?” Tony asked when he was fed and caffeinated to a tolerable extent. He was still freezing, but he was starting to get used to that.

Steve eyed him suspiciously from across the table. He nodded.

“Where is my suit?”

Steve sat back and crossed his arms. “It’s safe.”

“That’s not an answer.”

The big man shrugged. “Too bad.”

“I’m serious. You have my stolen tech squirreled away in a Hydra lab. I need to know that it won’t be compromised.”  

“I’m the only one who has access to it.”

Tony sighed. “I wish that made me feel better. Two days ago it would have.”

“Come here,” Steve said and held out his hand. Tony hesitated.

“Tony,” the blonde warned. “Do you really want to find out what happens if you break the rules of our little game?”

Tony decided that he did not. He got up from the chair and moved to Steve’s side. The other man’s gloved hand ran over the small of his back and down to the crack of his ass.

“Kneel,” Steve ordered.

Tony got to his knees. His stomach was full of indecisive butterflies that couldn’t pick between fear and desire. He looked up at Steve who was in the process of sliding off his gloves, placing them on the table.

“What is this place?” he asked, then hastily clarified, “What’s its purpose? Its value to Hydra.”

“That’s at least two questions.”

Tony shuffled forward on his knees and took a risk by laying his head on Steve’s lap. He rubbed his cheek on the smooth fabric, looking up with wide brown eyes. Steve’s reaction was immediate. His eyes darkened and he carded his fingers through Tony’s hair. Tony was starting to sense that Steve had a _thing_ for his hair.

“Good boy,” he murmured. Then, “It’s an outpost. We used to house troops previously but it hasn’t been in service for some time. Its value to Hydra is me. And that’s all I’m going to say on the subject,” he continued when Tony’s mouth opened. “I shouldn’t even have told you that much.”

Tony was quiet, letting Steve pet his head while he digested this information. The hand in his hair tightened suddenly making him gasp.

“My turn,” Steve said. “Get up here.”

He pulled Tony to his feet by his scalp and then settled him on his lap. Steve’s erection pressed against his ass and he thrust his hips a few times, growling with pleasure. Tony was already hard again, cursing his body for such weakness. Steve’s hand came around and firmly grasped his erection, squeezing pleasurably.

“Breakfast, coffee, and a hand job,” he moaned, “Maybe life here isn’t so bad.”

“Stick with me, kid,” Steve said and they both laughed. Sometimes it was so easy to forget and Tony let himself do so now. He closed his eyes and focused on the sensation of Steve’s arm around his waist, his hand on Tony’s cock, his breath against the back of Tony’s neck. Steve. Steve. Steve.

The big man handled him masterfully, stroking and teasing Tony’s cock until he was as tight as a bowstring. He threw his head back on Steve’s shoulder and moaned when the other man sucked on the side of his neck. He was so close.

“Tell me that you’re mine, Tony,” Steve whispered in his ear. He rocked his hips, nudging his hardon against Tony.. “Tell me.”

“Steve... “ he sighed.

“Say it.”

His orgasm was building. Tony’s hand clamped onto Steve’s thigh, the other one circling around the back of his neck. “Don’t stop,” he moaned.

“Tell me and I’ll let you cum.”

“I...Steve, fuck. Fuck!”

“Say it!” Steve roared.

“I’m yours, I’m yours, oh holy fucking _hell_!” Tony bent forward, gasping as his orgasm overwhelmed him. He groaned while Steve milked the last of it from him and then pulled him back against the blonde man’s chest. Tony thought Steve might pick him up and fuck him over the table, but instead he just brought up his sticky fingers and wiped them across Tony’s face.

“Uck!” he squeaked, and tried to fight him off. Steve grabbed the back of his neck and held him still. Tony stopped struggling but screwed up his face as Steve smeared trails of cooling jizz across his unshaven cheek.

“Look at you,” Steve said against his shoulder. “You’re a fucking mess.”

“Whose...fault is that,” Tony panted.

“Hmm,” the other man hummed happily. “Get up.” Tony rose and yelped when Steve smacked his ass harder than was strictly necessary. “You’re going to get cleaned up and I’m going to play with you some more. Let’s go.”

 

 _Focus,_ Tony told himself. _You’re supposed to be trying to get out of here. It’s way past time to come up with an escape plan._ But when Steve’s soapy fingers pushed into his hair, working up a lather, he could not think of one good reason to leave. Hydra shmydra, this was heaven.

Steve massaged his scalp and Tony faintly hummed with pleasure. He leaned back against the warm body behind him and reached a hand to glide over the huge prick that was bumping his thigh. Steve stiffened and his fingers stilled for a moment before pushing through Tony’s hair with renewed energy. Hot water sluiced down his chest onto his hard dick. The air around them was thick with steam. Tony could only hope that ancient nazi bases came equipped with robust hot water heaters because they were taking their sweet time in here.

“Rinse,” Steve said hoarsely.

Tony dipped his head forward and let water run through the suds on his head. Steve took hold of his shoulders and slid his cock into the crack of Tony’s ass, groaning with pleasure. Tony moaned too, sneaking a hand down to stroke himself.

“Not that I’m counting, but it seems like I’ve had at least two orgasms to your zero.”

“You have no self control.”

Tony huffed a laugh. “It would seem I don’t. Not where you’re concerned.”

He turned around, facing his captor and winding his arms around Steve’s neck. He tipped his face up looking for a kiss. Steve just cocked his head, smirking.

“What?” Tony asked, mildly irritated.

“You’re coming around.”

“Emphasis on coming.”

Steve snorted. He did kiss Tony then, deeply. Their tongues tangled together and Tony’s desire ratcheted up considerably. He slid his hands over that powerful body, drinking it in until, without warning, Steve bit down. It was just a little nip, really, not like the mauling he had given Tony’s hand earlier, but it was still shocking. It brought Tony back to reality and he pulled away with a curse.

“No no no,” Steve chided, reaching for him. Tony shrugged him off and Steve grabbed for real, pinning Tony’s arms to his sides and shoving him up against the tile wall. “Don’t fight me, Tony.”

“Fuck you, Steve.”

“You’re going to lose.”

“Let me go.”

“Not a chance. If I’m honest, I like it when you struggle,” Steve growled in his ear. “It turns me on.”

Truth was, the feeling was mutual. He’d always thought Steve’s super strength was a turn-on. Many a fantasy involved the two of them going at it in some gravity-defying scenario and here he was living it out. Steve’s body, wet and soapy, and _amazing_ and _life-changing_ was pushing him up against the wall of the shower, smothering him, overpowering him, and Tony was going to cum completely untouched if this kept up. He whined, struggled to free his arm to touch himself and failed utterly.

“Tell me what you want,” Steve said.

“What do you think?” Tony snapped, still wriggling in vain. “You keep asking me that, I’m sure you know the answer.”

“I want to hear you say it.” He thrust his hips, sliding his cock into Tony’s crack and pressing up against his asshole.  

“I...am not going to give you the satisfaction, cocksucker.”

“Such language,” Steve tutted. “You’re really in a feisty mood, aren’t you?”

“Find out,” Tony growled, echoing Steve’s earlier taunt.

That did it. Steve pushed against Tony’s shoulders with one hand while pulling at his hips with the other. “Get back here,” he said, letting go for long enough to coat his cock with soap. Tony bucked and struggled with all of his strength, but didn’t get very far. Steve took hold of him once more and dug his fingers in hard enough to hurt. Then came the unstoppable pressure against his ravaged ass, stretching and forcing its way inside.

“FUCK!” Tony yelled so loudly it made his head spin. Steve shoved his shoulders against the wall and braced himself, pushing in harder.

“You asked for this, motherfucker,” he sneered. “Take it!”

“I can’t, Steve. Shit, it’s too much. I can’t!”

Steve just moaned with pleasure at his protests and got to fucking. He slammed Tony into the wall with every movement, putting his weight behind it. The smaller man was utterly overpowered, stuffed and pinned like a goddamn turkey. His ass burned and his cock ached and he loved every second.

“That...all you got?” he panted, thrusting his ass back to meet Steve’s brutal assault.

The bigger man laughed wildly and Tony could have come right then. “Oh, you’re gonna be so much fun,” he said in between heaving breaths and rode Tony in earnest.

There was nothing to do after that. Tony could only try to keep his footing and hang on for the ride as Steve slammed into him with more force and speed than he would ever have thought possible. He knew he was yelling, screaming encouragement and Steve’s name and all manner of humiliating bullshit none of which mattered at all right then.

“Who owns you?” Steve yelled, punctuating each word with his thick meat. “Who. Fucking. Owns. You!”

“You!” Tony sobbed.

Steve reached around and tugged on his cock twice and Tony fell off a cliff of delirious pleasure and plunged all the way to the bottom. Steve followed, roaring like a dragon and pumping his cum in so hard that Tony swore he could feel it in the back of his throat. He collapsed against the smaller man, gasping for breath.

“Jesus,” Tony wheezed. “I’ve never...not like that. Fuck. I may never recover.”

“You…” Steve began, but stopped when a loud noise reached their ears. Something was beeping. Tony did not take this as a good sign, especially when Steve tensed up and swore under his breath. He pulled off, making Tony cry out when his cock was withdrawn, and headed off in the direction of his clothes. Tony took a moment to appreciate the view as he walked away.

Steve grabbed up his pants and withdrew a cell phone. He stared at the display for a moment with a furrowed brow, then grabbed a towel and started drying himself. “Come here,” he snapped and Tony turned off the water. “Hurry up.”

“Something wrong?” Tony asked, accepting the towel that Steve threw in his direction.

Steve did not answer. He hurried into his clothes and grabbed Tony by the arm, propelling him out of the room.

“Jesus, Steve. I can walk on my own, you know,” Tony protested, feet sliding on the wet tile.

“You need to get out of sight.”

Tony swallowed. “Safe to assume that sexy time is done?”

Steve’s expression hardened. “It’s time for me to work.”

Tony frowned. He did not like the sound of that at all.

 

Steve left him in the little bedroom, chained to the headboard of the bed. Tony protested vociferously, arguing that he might need to go to the bathroom, hadn’t he been excessively obedient? Steve just threw a cup at him and left, locking the door behind him. Tony sighed and climbed into the bed, his left arm held awkwardly over his head.

His whole body ached like he had been fighting Doombots all afternoon. He was hungry again, having worked up an appetite over the last few hours, and he knew he should be turning his excellent brain to the task of getting the fuck out of here. Somehow he couldn’t muster the enthusiasm.

“He really did fuck my brains out,” he said aloud and laughed. He felt a little like he was losing his mind. This situation was insane. He tried to think about how he would explain it to the others and couldn’t find the words. _“But, you don’t understand,”_ he pictured himself saying, _“his cock is_ massive _. Five stars. Seriously.”_  

“Fuck,” he breathed. He rolled onto his side where the pressure on his trapped arm was a little less intense. He was very tired. Maybe it would be good to rest while he could before the onslaught on his body picked up again. He lifted his free arm and looked at the bite mark on his hand. It was red and crusty with dried blood even after the shower, but did not look as serious as he had initially imagined. However, if Steve ever went missing and they needed a copy of his dental records Tony’s hand would do the job.

“Fuck,” he pronounced and closed his eyes. A second later he was sound asleep.

 

He awoke to the sound of the door slamming. The fire had gone out and the room was pitch dark. It occurred to Tony that he had no idea if it was day or night outside or, really, just how much time had passed since he showed up here with his stupid idea to poke around a bit.

“Steve?” he said tentatively.

“Are you sleeping again?” Came the reply in a familiar voice.

“You wore me out. How was your day? Topple any governments while I was out? Murder crowds of innocent people, maybe?”

Steve walked to the bed and leaned over him. He took Tony by the throat and held fast, not choking, but applying enough pressure to get his attention.

“I'm glad you think this is funny.”

“Listen, I know this is probably foreplay, but I really have to eat and take a piss before we do anything else. Not necessarily in that order,” he added.

“Hm,” Steve grunted. He withdrew the key from his pocket and uncuffed his prisoner. Tony stretched his arm, wincing in discomfort.

Steve took him to the bathroom and back to the mess hall for another ancient ration that tasted like nothing and also worse than nothing at the same time. He did all of this with an air or detachment as though his mind was somewhere else entirely. Tony didn't disturb him or even try to goad him into conversation. His own mind was troubled enough as it was.

To his great surprise Steve led Tony to a supply room and threw a gray sweater in his direction. He did not offer him pants, or even underwear, but Tony wasn't going to argue. The sweater was thick and warm, even though it was far too big for him, and he took it gratefully.

Steve did not touch him as they walked side by side back to the little room and he turned his back as soon as they arrived. Tony felt an absurd urge to comfort the other man, like he was Steve's actual lover and not the poster child for Stockholm syndrome. Instead he sat on the edge of the bed and ran his hands through his hair.

“This is our last night,” Steve said after a while.

Tony’s head snapped up. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Steve wouldn’t look at him. “It means you have a choice to make.”

“Okay,” Tony replied slowly.

“You can come with me when I leave here tomorrow.”

“Or?”

“I’ll leave you out in the snow.”

Tony let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. “I somehow thought that one of those choices was going to involve that cliff you brought up earlier.”

“It should,” Steve shot back angrily. Tony couldn’t tell who he was frustrated with, though. He got up from the bed, pacing back and forth in the semi-darkness.

“What do you want?” he asked.

Steve looked at him, eyes hard. “I already told you.”

“Me on my knees?”

“With me.”

Tony laughed. “Be serious.”

“I am.”

“You’re fucking crazy.”

Steve crossed the room in two large strides and took Tony by the shoulders. “Is it really that crazy?”

“Um, yes. Let me explain why. You,” Tony poked him the chest with an accusing finger,” have betrayed me and everything I stood for by working with an evil organization for...what, since the beginning? At least the past few years. You’re a fucking turncoat and I’m...well, I’m washed up, Steve. No one even wants me anymore. I’m utterly at loose ends. And, yes, you’re right I’ve been hopelessly in love with you for…” he waved his hand around, “Ever. But that wasn’t even you, was it? Not really.”

“It was,” Steve said urgently, hands tight on Tony’s arms. “It _was_ me, Tony. All of it. I never lied to you for a moment about how I felt.”

“Just everything else.”

Steve sighed in frustration. “I’m not saying I’m blameless. But…” he looked away. “I’m glad you know. I always assumed that you would find out eventually. I’d have to be stupid to think otherwise. I thought that when you knew who, what, I really was that you would hate me.”

“Part of me does,” Tony interrupted.

“But not all of you.”

“No,” he admitted. “I think...we’ve been through too much for that.”

They were quiet for a moment, two men standing together in total isolation.

“This is it, Tony. My last,” Steve hesitated, “operation. Just this one more thing and then I’m done.”

Tony snorted. “They just let you retire in this business? Did they match your 401k contributions?”

“I’m going to disappear. Off the grid entirely. I’ve had it planned out for years. Come with me.” He spoke with intensity, giving Tony a little shake as though to get his attention. “Come with me, Tony.”

“Come _with_ you?! Where the fuck are we even going to go? Is there an old-folks home for nazis and superheroes? Do you even hear yourself?”

“I _know_ -”

“How many people are you going to kill, Steve?” Tony interjected in a low voice.

The bigger man bristled. “People always die, Tony. When have we ever done anything, for good or ill, when innocent people haven’t gotten killed?”

“That’s not really a valid counterargument.”

“Sure it is. Hell, Tony, you killed _me_ once.”

Tony stepped back, stricken. “That is completely unfair,” he breathed.

“Not really a valid counterargument,” Steve echoed without irony or malice.

“Fuck you, Steve. You’re the traitor, don’t try to turn this around on me.” Tony turned his back, crossing his arms. “ _Jesus_ , this shouldn’t even be a difficult choice.”

Steve’s unspoken words hung in the air: _But it is. For both of us._

They were quiet for a long time after that. Eventually Tony hunkered down and got the fire going again, casting long shadows on the wall. Steve stood watching him with an unreadable expression. He looked terribly vulnerable for someone with all the power in the situation. Tony realized then that Steve had as much at stake as Tony did. More, maybe. He’d devoted his life to this and he was risking it all for Tony. And here he was doing the same.

He pulled his sweater off slowly, letting it fall to the floor. He held his hand out to Steve. “Come to bed.”

The surprise on the bigger man’s face was so complete it might have been comical under other circumstances. He approached cautiously and let Tony wind his arms around his waist. “What are you doing?”

“The only thing I know to do right now,” he answered. “Maybe it’s just that I am profoundly fucked up, and I suspect that is the case, but I can’t shake this utterly ridiculous notion.”

“What notion?”

“Hope.”

Steve didn’t speak. He seemed to be holding his breath. Tony slid his hands up the back of Steve’s shirt, caressing the planes of his sculpted back. For once it seemed he was the one in control.

He coaxed Steve out of his clothes, shedding them slowly a piece at a time and worshiping the skin he uncovered. No inch of the other man went unattended. Tony laid him down on the bed and crawled all over, kissing, licking, touching, loving. At first Steve was tense, uncomfortable, defensive, and Tony worried that he was going to lash out in some unexpected way. But eventually he could feel the stiffness in the other man wane and Steve started to touch him back, sliding his hands gently over Tony’s warm skin. Tony climbed on top of him and they kissed tentatively, like it was really their first time after all. He located the bottle of lube they had used the night before and slicked up Steve’s cock, making him moan.

“I don’t want to be without you,” Steve whispered.

Tony answered by settling himself on Steve’s dick, sinking down inch by inch. Steve hissed through his teeth and took hold of Tony’s hips, holding fast. He started to close his eyes and Tony touched his cheek. “Look at me,” he murmured. “Don’t go anywhere.”

Steve sucked in a breath. He did not look away again. Tony took a moment once he was fully seated, breathing harshly, then started to raise and lower himself. It was a slow build, riding together, moaning, panting softly, watching each other carefully.

“Tony, I can’t-” Steve broke off, his voice full of emotion. He covered his face with a hand and Tony gently removed it. Steve looked at him, his beautiful eyes brimming with pain. “I can’t,” he repeated.

“You can,” Tony said, breathless.

He sped up, building their passion together. Tony braced himself with his hands on Steve’s chest and felt the big man’s heart racing under his fingers. He moaned, thrusting his hips up and down with greater intensity. He wasn’t sure if he was going to cry or come, but whatever happened it was going to be spectacular. Steve sat up, wrapping his arms around Tony’s back and thrusting his hips up in tandem.  

“Tony,” he groaned.

“I’m here,” Tony answered.

They came together, holding fast to one another. When it was done Tony realized that Steve was crying. He clutched Tony like a lifeline, like a perfect dream he was trying so hard not to let fade. “Please,” he said in a broken voice.

“Shhh,” Tony said, kissing his head. He closed his eyes and knew that there was no real choice left to him. It wasn’t even a decision anymore. He’d already decided the minute he knelt at Steve’s feet and let the other man determine his fate. Before that, even. He’d decided back when they fought side-by-side, lived under the same roof, built a life together, and Tony had handed over his heart without a single backward glance.

His breath hitched and Steve looked up at him. Their eyes met.

“I’m yours,” Tony said.

And Steve smiled.

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is more after all! Huzzah! I just had to sniff out a storyline that satisfied me, and this one does. It's worth noting that I take *considerable* liberties with the Marvel comicverse canon in this chapter. I hope purists will forgive me as it is all done in service of entertainment. 
> 
> Also, because I am old it has taken me years to get on social media, but now i've done it! I'm on twitter @cm_randles and on Tumblr @cm-randles though I'm not really sure what Tumblr is for yet. Nudes? Probably nudes. I won't be posting any of those, but I may write some things. We'll see. Mostly I'm just sitting in my empty online room and trying to figure out how to join the party. Without posting any nudes. 
> 
> Okay now enjoy the new chapter!

Tony came back to awareness slowly. It was dark, but of course that meant nothing. He lay on his side staying warm under the blankets and letting his eyes adjust. When they did he saw that the shape in front of him was not just a chair, but rather a large figure filling it, Tony smiled. 

“Hey,” he said. 

“Hi,” Steve answered. He sounded tired. 

“Is that for me?” Tony asked, indicating the cup in Steve’s hands. 

The big man nodded and handed it over. Tony was taken aback not to get scalding liquid thrown in his face or to have to perform some humiliating act of servitude to earn his morning coffee. He was also a little disappointed, which was new. He sat up, cradling the mug in his hands to savor what warmth remained. After drinking, he grimaced. “You should do something about the line item in the budget for rations. Save the torture for your prisoners, am I right?” 

Steve shook his head, but did not reply. Something was troubling him. Of course it was. There were only a hundred things wrong with their situation and probably with both of them as well. Still, Tony reached out. His hand was warm on Steve’s leg and after only a moment the other man covered Tony’s fingers with his own. 

“Drink up,” Steve said not unkindly. “I’ve got something to show you.” 

“Oh boy, field trip,” Tony enthused. 

He finished his coffee and stood to let Steve dress him when he was ordered to do so. The big man slid trousers up Tony’s thighs with the same sensuality as when clothes were going the other direction. Thick fingers paused while zipping up the fly of his pants, pressing against Tony’s burgeoning erection. Then came the shirt, fastened with agonizing slowness - button by button. By the time Steve finished, Tony was breathless. And the bigger man concluded by kissing him soundly, just to be sure. 

“Now I just want you to take them off again,” he murmured, mouth dry. 

“Later,” Steve said and Tony was pleased by the unsteadiness of his voice. At least he wasn’t the only one affected. 

The clothes were a little big on him, but once he tucked the pant cuffs up into the truly impressive boots he was gifted, Tony was ready to roll. He probably looked like a hipster, but that was all right. They were unlikely to go anywhere that it would matter. 

The dim light of the corridor outside their little room was blinding. Tony shielded his eyes and blinked, trying to clear the spots from his vision. Once he got his bearings and looked to his companion he gasped. 

“Jesus, Steve.” 

For a moment the blonde didn’t seem to know what Tony was objecting to. Then he glanced down at his own outfit and frowned. It looked like a version of his old Captain America uniform, though it had been remodeled in shades of black and red. And instead of the star on his chest there was emblazoned a blood-red Hydra symbol. It stretched across the muscular expanse of his upper body, tentacles curled onto itself like the garment was clutching at its occupant possessively. The sight of it, the realness, the fact that Steve even  _ had _ something like this, much less was walking around in it made Tony completely lose his grip.

“Look at me,” Steve demanded. 

It took Tony a moment, but he was finally able to look up. 

“Don’t let yourself get distracted.” 

“Well, you gotta admit that this is pretty goddamn distracting. You didn’t dress me in Hydra gear did you?” Tony peered down at his own clothes, which were some drab gray-on-gray action. He strained to look over his shoulder just to make sure there wasn’t a swastika on his back. 

Steve stepped forward and took Tony’s chin in his hand. His grip was firm, but not painful. He directed Tony’s gaze back up to his blue eyes, then tightened his hold and would not let the smaller man look away. He dipped his head and kissed Tony with bruising force. Tony brought his hands up, clutching at Steve through his damn Hydra uniform. Eventually they parted, breathing heavily, and Tony had to admit that he was once again on solid mental footing. Steve sure did have his number.

“Come on,” Steve said, and led him down the corridor to a staircase. They went down three flights of stairs into a room that was protected with, even by Tony’s standards, an excessive number of security protocols. 

“There is only one correct code to open this door. It’s twenty digits long and so much as a single wrong entry will lock the room down permanently.” 

Tony whistled. 

“And there’s the retinal scanner after that.” 

“Impressive.” 

Steve gave him a look. 

“I assume you’re telling me all of this in case I get any ‘funny ideas’ down the line?” 

The blonde nodded. 

“Not my first rodeo, cowboy,” Tony replied. He even put his hands in his pockets to show that he wasn’t planning on getting up to any monkey business. Though he did pay very close attention to the code that Steve entered, locking it away in his superior memory just in case. The retinal scanner followed, as promised, and after that the reinforced door to this mysterious chamber swung open. The interior, Tony reflected, looked a little like one of his laboratories in college. It was all big metal work tables, discarded bits of tech, and tools in untidy piles throughout. Only, his lab at MIT hadn’t contained an interdimensional portal. Or, at least, most of one. Tony got a sinking feeling in his stomach. 

He approached the device, waited to see if Steve was going to bark at him, and when no remonstration came started poking around. It looked a little like the model Reed Richards had designed with an enormous metal hoop serving as the “gateway” between universes. Except that Reed’s version was never stable enough for human test subjects. All of the rats he’d sent through never came back, or at least not with all their organs. Someone, probably not Steve, had improved on the design with this model, but it was still obviously incomplete. It was missing a power supply, for one thing. And unless this base doubled as a nuclear reactor Tony doubted they would find anything suitable in the area. He glanced up from his diagnostics to find Steve watching him with a bemused expression. 

“Okay, so you’ve got three fourths of a dimensional portal. You want a metal?” 

Steve smiled. “Wrong.” 

“It’s not operational, Steve. I’m sure even you can see that.” 

“I can see that, Tony. But have  _ four _ fourths of it.” 

They stared each other down. 

“I assume you’re talking about  _ moi _ ?” Tony asked as the pit in his stomach opened wider. When Steve nodded his agreement, Tony let out a sigh. “This isn’t exactly my wheelhouse. Reed Richards-” 

“We’ve gotten all we could from Richards,” Steve interrupted. Tony didn’t like to think what that implied. “His design is flawed, his system unstable.” 

“And you think that I’m going to do better?” 

“Yes.” 

It was terribly shameful how good just that morsel of praise made him feel. It had the additional benefit of being true. Richards was good at what he did, and no doubt he was smarter than Tony in certain facets of his crazy brain, but he wasn’t a risk-taker. Tony would stick things together with the tech equivalent of duct tape and chewing gum, then rush in headlong, error correcting as he went. He learned by doing, while Richards preferred caution. And this device, while elegant in its design, was obviously not the work of someone who had a doctorate from the school of hard knocks. 

“Would it make any difference to you if I said that I’m not at all comfortable with this?” 

Steve cocked his head. “Why?” 

“Well, for one thing this is totally unproven ground we’re talking about. Even if I were able to get this thing working, and that’s a big ‘if’, there’s at least a forty percent chance it’ll only work one way. Assuming you ever want to come back to the here and now that’s not exactly good news. Secondly, I don’t even know what you’re after. Where are we going?” 

“Earth thirty-six forty,” Steve answered. 

“Great. Let me just go look that up in my Encyclopedia of the Multiverse.” 

Steve shrugged. “I’d rather show than tell.” 

Tony sighed. “What was your game plan  _ before _ I stumbled on your little hidey-hole here?” 

The blonde uncrossed his arms and gave Tony a knowing stare. “Do you really want to know the answer?” 

“No, actually. I can probably guess for myself. Not my first rodeo, like I said.” He turned back to the device and sighed again, hands on his hips. “You were probably going to kidnap someone and press them into service. That’s page one of the Hydra playbook, isn’t it? You stole Richards’s tech to get this started and then you hold some other poor schmuck hostage to get the rest of the puzzle. And here I am, the schmuck.” 

“You can’t really argue that you’re here against your will. Not now, anyway.” 

“No, you’re right. But I still don’t like this, Steve. Not at all. Surely there’s a better way to get what you need than to go skipping between dimensions and risk a total collapse?” he looked hopefully at the other man and received only a single head shake in reply. Steve approached and laid his hands on Tony’s shoulders. The smaller man tensed, not sure what to expect. Steve leaned down and spoke softly right into Tony’s ear. 

“You’re going to do it, Tony. Do you want to know how I know that? Because it’s a challenge. A riddle, and one that only you can solve. Haven’t we encountered this exact scenario over and over again? If there’s one thing I know about you for sure it’s that you never back down.” 

“And the forty percent chance of never getting back here again, at least not in a matchbox?” Tony asked. 

Steve grinned unpleasantly. “For your own sake, you’d better find a way to swing those odds in our favor. If we get stuck on the other side of the portal it’ll be a heck of a lot worse for you than me.” 

“Gosh, thanks. Such encouragement. You know, this would all be a lot easier if you just told me what we’re after.” 

Steve kissed his neck with surprising gentleness and squeezed his shoulders. “I’m sure it would.” Then he stepped away, rifling through a pile of discarded odds and ends on one of the long tables. Tony groaned in frustration. 

“I’ll need…” he trailed off when Steve handed him a tablet. “Okay, good. That’ll work. And the power situation, we need something, oh I don’t know, roughly the size and shape of a nuclear reactor to even get this puppy sparking.” 

“I have an idea about that, actually,” Steve said. He walked away for a moment, into a side room Tony hadn’t noticed before, and returned with the chestplate of Tony’s armor. The sinking feeling in Tony’s stomach became a yawning abyss. Because, of course, it was perfect. The arc reactor he’d designed to run the armor was a nearly limitless source of power. Sure, he’d need to calibrate the output for something as demanding as an interdimensional portal, but still. It was the ideal solution and Steve could see it written all over his face. He tossed the armor onto the floor at Tony’s feet and pulled up a chair, settling himself back to watch the show. 

“It could take days,” Tony cautioned him. 

“You’ve got two hours,” Steve replied. 

  
  


They stood together and admired Tony’s handiwork. It was throwing sparks off right and left and did not exactly  _ look _ stable, but it was operational. And that was something. Tony still didn’t feel good about actually walking through the gateway, but when he glanced over and saw Steve grinning broadly, it made him blush just a little. 

“I knew you could do it,” Steve said, his voice full of pride. He squeezed Tony’s shoulders, chuckling. Tony was absurdly touched. 

“Yeah, well, I’m not sure if it’s ready for prime time. But there’s maybe only a twenty percent chance of getting stranded now.” 

“Amazing,” the big man behind him breathed. “You really are a genius.” 

“You’re just trying to flatter me so I’ll go breaking and entering into another dimension with you.” 

“How’s it working?” 

Tony laughed. “Like a charm, actually.” 

Steve smiled. And just like that he was  _ his _ Steve again, the one he’d known forever and had loved from afar. Only now they were holding hands, and that was probably the  _ least _ intimate thing they’d done in the past few days. Crazy world. 

“I don’t suppose you have a test subject hanging around here somewhere,” Tony asked hopefully. It did seem like the kind of thing that might be found in a Hydra lab, after all. 

Steve shook his head. “No. Besides, we don’t have time. We’ve got to do this now.” 

“Should I bother asking why?” 

“There’s a Steve Rogers in that world too, but right now he’s out of pocket so this is our window to complete the operation without running into him.” 

“Uh huh,” Tony muttered, taking this in. “What about me? Is there another devastatingly handsome and sexy Tony Stark we should be worrying about?” 

Steve shook his head and was he looking a little sad? Tony thought there was a distinctly melancholy tinge to his expression. “No,” was all he said. Then, “Let’s go.” 

“Just like that? We don’t need to, I don’t know, get supplies or anything? Like, maybe a gun? I’d like a gun, please A big one.” 

“Sorry, not happening.” 

Tony frowned. “I think I’ve more than-” 

“Not because of you. It...well, it wouldn’t make sense. You’ll see. I’m armed, if that makes you feel any better.” Steve turned to show where a sizeable pistol was holstered against the small of his back. 

“It doesn’t, actually. But I suppose I have no choice but to trust you. I am keeping this, though,” Tony said folding up the tablet and putting it in the pocket of his oversized pants. “It’s not negotiable if you want a chance of coming back in through the gateway.” 

Steve didn’t argue. He did, however, approach Tony holding a thick loop of leather in his hands. It looked almost like…

“Woah, woah, is that a  _ collar _ ?” Tony squeaked, dancing away from him as Steve tried to fasten the thing around his neck. “Jeez, Steve, I know we were getting kinky but this is a bit much.” 

The big man gave him a hard look. “It’s not negotiable either. It’s for your own safety as much as anything, believe me.” 

Tony made a face. “Really? Where the hell are you taking me?” 

“Show, not tell,” Steve reminded him, and closed the collar around Tony’s neck. It was cold against his skin, and tightened automatically to be snug but not suffocating. Lights on the front of the device flashed green and orange, which Tony did not like one little bit. Steve, however, was radiating desire. “I know you hate it, but  _ damn _ ,” he murmured. 

“I do like your reaction,” Tony admitted. Steve was looking at him with obvious appreciation, his eyes locked on the collar around Tony’s neck. He was probably thinking,  _ Mine, _ which sent a shiver down the smaller man’s back. 

Steve gave himself a visible shake and dragged his eyes away from the device. “Are you ready?” 

“As ready as I can be with zero information and only limited confidence in our life-saving tech. So, yeah. Let’s do this bitch.” 

Steve smiled and stepped through the gateway. He disappeared from sight and Tony held his breath. There was no collapse, nothing caught fire, no eldritch evil escaped and disemboweled him. Steve was just gone and the portal was still there throwing off sparks. Tony took a deep breath and stepped through. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens! I've got at least one, if not two, more chapters in the works right now. The next one features our boys wandering around an alternate dimension and includes what I hope is a satisfying amount of violence, possessiveness, and exposition. So you have that to look forward to! 
> 
> Thanks, as always, for reading. I hope you get as much enjoyment from reading as I did from writing (re: a lot). Hugs and kisses.


	4. Chapter 4

At first, nothing happened. He simply stepped through to the other side of the metal hoop inside the Hydra workshop and stood staring at the opposite wall. _Well, shit,_ he thought. Then, with a sickening whirl of motion the world around him began to spin away. He closed his eyes, which only made it worse, opened them again, and found himself in, well, a completely different universe. Here - wherever - the world was all darkness and shadows, and seemed as though it meant to stay that way.

Legs like pudding, Tony stumbled and leaned heavily against the brick wall in front of him. The air smelled like cheap chinese food and garbage. His mind was still spinning and he felt his stomach turn over as he stood there trying to get his bearings. A hand landed on his shoulder and he jumped, staggered, and fell into a pile of refuse on the ground.

“It’s only me,” Steve said kneeling down beside him. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes bright. He was excited. “You did it, Tony! You really did it.”  

“Yay,” he groaned and rolled away so he could vomit. The only good thing about puking up the pitiful amount of food in his stomach was Steve’s big hand rubbing circles on his back while he murmured soothing words. _If Red Skull could see you now,_ he thought between heaves.  

“All right?” Steve asked as he helped a sweaty, disoriented Tony to his feet.

“I’m not sure that’s an appropriate question considering our surroundings.”

“Good point.”

Refusing to let go of Steve’s hand, the smaller man gazed around them. The first thing he noticed were the zeppelins. They hung in the sky like malevolent clouds, at least twenty of them that Tony could see over the city. And it was clear they were in a city - skyscrapers, street noise, voices, and the _smell._ He searched for some landmark, something to help him get his bearings, and all he saw was shadows. There weren’t even any street lights, which seemed odd and unsettling at the same time.

“I don’t like this place,” he said aloud before he knew he was going to.

Steve nodded in agreement, though he still seemed quite a lot like a kid on Christmas Eve. Tony was prepared to probe further, but the sound of a commotion from the street distracted both of them. It was an impressive hubbub - sirens, shouting voices, the sound of something large breaking. They exchanged a glance and took off running.

“Stay close to me,” Steve ordered. Then, when he decreed that his charge was not listening, “I’m serious, Tony.”

“Where am I going to go?” the other man snapped back. He slipped on a discarded newspaper and skidded around the corner just in time to be kicked in the face. “Agh!” he cried and went down in a very undignified heap.

“Whoops! Where’d you come from, dude? Sorry about that!” A young voice yelled from above him. Tony stared up from where he sat on his ass and saw Spiderman swinging his way up onto the roof of the next building over. “Or maybe not,” he added as Steve emerged from the shadows.

“Pete-” he started to yell, his hand raised in greeting, but stopped himself. Steve gave him a hard stare and he clamped his lips shut. This was not _their_ Peter Parker. And even if it was he wasn’t likely to be a fan.

Gunfire barked from a few feet away and Tony hunkered down, trying not to catch a stray bullet. A group of soldiers were running down the street, weapons drawn, firing at will. Before them was an enormous statue which had been toppled and was presently blocking traffic. It was difficult to tell what the structure had once been, but there were big stone chunks of human being scattered throughout the road.

“Ceasefire!” Steve bellowed. Peter peeked over the edge of the roof and Tony resisted the urge to give him a thumbs up.

“Sir,” A breathless man in black Hydra gear and a full facemask came running up to Steve. “What are you - Forgive me,” he corrected himself hastily. “We thought you were out of the country sir.”

“What’s happening here?” Steve assumed command effortlessly, like shrugging on an old and well-fitting jacket.

“That,” the soldier pointed at Spiderman, who dropped into a crouch to watch the proceedings, “was caught trying to break into the compound, sir. We’re under orders to apprehend him. Or exterminate, if necessary.”

 _Exterminate._ A chill went down his back. He climbed to his feet, rubbing his forehead where Peter’s foot had caught him. Spiderman watched him in uncharacteristic silence.

“From whom?” Steve asked sharply.

“Baron Zemo, sir.”

Tony’s head shot up. “Baron Zemo?” Steve glared at him, an obvious warning.

“I updated your propaganda, Captain Hydra,” Peter yelled. “I think you’re really going to like it.”

Steve glanced at him but didn’t respond. “Belay those orders, soldier. You and your men are to return to base.”

Though the soldier’s face was entirely obscured by the mask he wore they could detect his perplexed expression nonetheless. “Sir?”

“You heard me.”

Peter stood up. “Are you kidding me?”

Steve turned to him. “It’s your lucky day, son. I’ve got better things to do than chase you around the city. Now run along.”

“I’ll make it in next time,” Peter replied defiantly.

 _Just go,_ Tony silently begged him. _Peter, please._

“There won’t be a next time,” Steve said.

He and Peter stared each other down.

“Fine,” Peter said finally, slinging a web to the side of a skyscraper. “This was getting boring anyway.”

Tony let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. The soldiers let Peter go without any further protest, but their body language projected the discomfort they were surely experiencing. Steve walked to his companion’s side and pulled him close with a savage grip on his arm. The collared man hissed in pain, but did not protest. He was too busy trying to figure out what the fuck was going on here. Steve glanced down at him. “How’s your head?”

“Still attached to my neck.”

Steve gave him a private smile. “Let’s go.”

Tony nodded and tried to appear demure. He wasn’t very good at it.

Accompanied by an unnecessarily large Hydra force, they started walking. The crowds passing along the bustling city streets parted like water to let them pass. People averted their eyes.

“Clean this up,” Steve barked as they passed the fallen statue. It finally became obvious e face had been immortalized in stone.

“Oh fuck me,” Tony moaned.

“Focus,” Steve hissed in his ear.

They picked their way around the fallen wreckage of the statue and walked quickly along the street heading North.

“This is New York?” he asked quietly.

Steve nodded.

“It’s missing a few landmarks.”

No response. Tony let himself be march-dragged for a few more blocks before he started up again.

“This isn’t freaking you out.” It wasn’t a question this time. “That was a twenty-foot tall statue of Red Skull back there. You saw that, right?”

“Hush. We’ll talk later.”

The genius sighed. “Whatever you say, Captain _Hydra_.”

The wind picked up and he shivered. Steve hauled him closer to his side, wrapping an arm possessively around Tony’s shoulders. No one said anything.

Two blocks more and they passed a brick building that they knew to be an all-night diner in another world. Here it was some unknowable shady operation, but that wasn’t what was significant about it. That was the mural painted on the street-facing side of the building. Steve Rogers, larger than life, holding a glowing cube aloft in one hand, standing triumphantly on a pile of corpses. _Heil Hydra_ was painted across the top of the macabre scene. Some joker had drawn a hitler moustache on Steve’s upper lip with a Sharpie and written “TINY PRICK” with an arrow to his crotch. _Peter._

Unable to help himself, Tony giggled. He glanced up and observed Steve obviously trying not to smile as well. “Have this painted over,” he barked at one of the nearby soldiers who immediately responded in the affirmative. Lots of cleanup work for the Hydra crew today.

Tony glanced at the image one more time as they passed. Steve’s painted boot rested on the head of a man with black hair and a moustache, brown eyes open and staring lifelessly at the red sky. He made himself turn away, shuddering.

As they came around the corner of what would have been 87th Street their destination became clear. Stark Tower loomed out of the skyline in the distance. Only it wasn’t. A feeling of terrible dread settled around Tony, befouling the air like sewer gas. Where his own surname had once blazed in the New York skyline now there stood only a red glowing Hydra insignia.If it weren’t for Steve’s hand on his back, pushing him steadily onward, He might have stopped right there. Whatever was going on here, wherever they were, he knew for absolute certain that he did not want to go in that building. Unfortunately, Steve propelled him exactly there.

A figure waited for them outside. A short-ish man with close-cropped brown hair and fastidiously maintained facial hair. Tony didn’t recognize him, but he felt Steve tense up as they approached.

“Anything I need to know?” he asked in an undertone.

“Keep your damn mouth shut.”

_As if._

The man stepped forward to greet them, his face pinched in a scowl. “You let the Spider Man get away. Again.” He spoke with a heavy German accent, his words clipped and angry.

“Hello Zemo,” Steve said with forced good cheer. “Yes, I did. It’s a waste of resources chasing that little pest around. He’s only a nuisance.”

“For the moment that may be true. But he does not give up, that one. And he will continue to be the fly in the ointment, if you’ll pardon the expression, until he is properly dealt with.”

“And I’m sure you think you’re the man to deal with him.”

Zemo smiled unpleasantly. Tony thought that he preferred him with the hood on, and bit his tongue to keep from saying so. As though drawn by his thoughts, Zemo’s eyes flicked from Steve to his companion. His gaze lingered on the collar and he could feel his skin crawling. Steve’s hand tightened reflexively on his arm.

“Who’s this, then?” He stepped forward and seized Tony’s jaw in his hand squeezing painfully. This prompted a wince. “I thought the great Steve Rogers didn’t keep pets.”

“Hands off,” Steve growled.

“Oh, touchy,” Zemo replied with a smirk. “This one must be something special.” He forced Tony’s head from side-to-side, assessing him with a critical eye. “He _is_ pretty.”

“Prettier than you,” The pet in question spat.

Zemo frowned. “Not very well trained, though.”

“We’re working on it,” Steve said in a warning tone. “Excuse me, we-”

“You ought to let me have him for a few weeks, Rogers. He’ll come back a model servant. And it is _so_ satisfying to break them, especially when their will is this strong. You’ll break very nicely, won’t you?” He asked Tony, moving his face very close. His breath smelled like rot.

“I’ll break your fucking nose if you don’t let go of me,” He said, jerking away. Cover story or not, he had about enough of playing the sap.

Zemo moved so quickly Tony didn’t even catch it. He felt the blow land on his cheek, making him stagger. And then he heard Steve’s roar and watched with great satisfaction as he socked Zemo right across the face. Their mutual enemy of many decades went down like a sack of bricks. Tony grinned savagely.

“I _said_ hands off. He’s mine,” Steve growled, kicking the smaller man in the gut for good measure. It was definitely reckless, probably foolish, and maybe the most endearing thing Tony had ever seen. He wanted to grab Steve and kiss him right then and there. And from the steamy gaze he sent Tony’s way, Steve wanted to do even more than that.

“Let’s go,” Steve said extending a hand to him. His voice sounded husky. Tony took his hand and followed him into the building, though not without a saucy glance over his shoulder at the prone, bleeding, and very pissed off Baron Zemo. _My hero_ , he thought giddily.

 

Stepping into the tower was a surreal experience. Tony knew this place like the back of his hand, maybe even better because who spends sixty hours a week staring at the back of their hand? Much of the interior remained the same, save for a few notable differences. For one thing there was no tribute to his father in the lobby, no unsmiling portrait hanging just to the left of the elevators. Instead the walls were bare, the atmosphere thoroughly uninviting. Steve propelled him to the elevators and nearly shoved him into one heading up. He pushed the button for the top floor and then turned his intense stare on Tony.

Tony made the barest twitch in his direction and Steve crashed over him like a wave, sweeping him up and pressing him against the cold wall of the elevator. They kissed each other breathless. Steve’s hand shot out and punched a button on the wall panel, halting their progress. He frowned, holding Tony up with one hand, and laid a hand on the smaller man’s unshaven cheek. An impressive bruise bloomed there.

“I should have killed the bastard.”

“I’ve had worse,” Tony said. “Probably will again.”

“No,” Steve replied emphatically. “No one is going to hurt you. I…”

He trailed off and his entire expression changed.

“What?” Tony asked.

Steve shook his head, lowering the smaller man so he could stand on his own again. Tony hit the button again and the elevator started moving. It took some doing, but he resisted the urge to probe further.

The doors opened with a soft hiss revealing a short red-carpeted hallway with a single door at the end. Steve exited first, leading the way as usual.

“What’s in here?”

“The things Hydra values most.”

“That’s a cryptic answer.”

“Show, not tell,” Steve answered and Tony found he was sick of that response.

He leaned down to observe the keypad on the door, pulling the tablet from his pants pocket as he did so. A few taps on the screen and he had a thorough assessment of the security systems he had to breech to gain entrance into the room. They were the technological equivalent of using tissue paper to secure a bank vault.

“Child’s play,” he said with a smirk. Then he cracked the whole damn thing in less than a minute. He grabbed the handle and tugged, opening the door to what appeared to be a mostly empty room. “Oh, how exciting. Another vacant warehouse.”

Steve gave him that look again; the admiring one. Tony ignored him and stepped across the threshold, listening as Steve shut the door behind them. He consulted the device. “The world without me in it is considerably less secure.”

That made the other man smile. “Cameras?”

“Dealt with. I mean, it’s actually kind of sad.”

“We can’t all be geniuses,” Steve said, patting him on the shoulder as he passed.

“So, while you hunt around for whatever arcane relic that brought us here, I’d like to throw some theories out at you. Theory one: this is not your first time in this particular dimension.”

Steve’s shoulders stiffened and he gave a tense nod.

“Okay,” Tony sighed. “Let me guess, Hydra used it as a selling point to get you on their side.”

“Yes. They said that if I sided with them we would turn our world into one more like this. Where I’d be in power.”

Tony swallowed. “Right. Good planning. Because if there’s one thing Captain America wants it’s obviously a world where Hydra is in charge. So you played along with their little game and discovered something else you wanted enough to come back on your own for it. How am I doing?”

“Surprisingly well,” Steve answered. He had moved to the far side of the empty room and ran his hands over the wall. Searching for secret doors? Tony examined the information on the readout in front of him.

“How did Hydra win? I can only assume that’s what happened here, what with all the propaganda and terrified townspeople.”

“In this dimension Steve Rogers was born to parents who were Hydra fanatics. They gave up their son to Red Skull who selected him for an experiment.”

“The super soldier project?” Tony interjected.

“Right. And it worked here too. Only this time after it was done Red Skull had Rogers kill both Doctor Erskine and your father, who assisted with the experiment.”

Tony thought about the mural he’d seen on the way in here, Steve’s boot on his father’s face. He turned his attention back to the display in his hand, which now flashed red, and tried not to think about what he’d heard.

“Okay, so that explains why Captain America has been replaced with Captain Hydra. And why there’s no Iron Man. And, of course, without the founding fathers there’s no Avengers either. We saw Peter doing his thing on his own, but what about the others?”

Steve shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t even know about Peter being alive. Today was the first time I saw him.”

“So Hydra won the war and has been in power ever since? Running their evil empire unchecked for, what, eighty years?” Tony asked. His skin prickled with goosebumps.

Steve nodded.

Tony thought about the mural again, Steve Rogers untouched by the hands of time, holding aloft a glowing cube. Heart pounding, he took a deep breath and shut his eyes.

“You’re looking for the tesseract,” he said.

Steve’s head shot around. “How do you know that?”

“Two reasons. One, Steve Rogers in this world looks exactly the same as you do and that’s presumably without the benefit of being frozen in ice for sixty years. He hasn’t aged at all. Neither has Baron Zemo. Both of them should be old men, but they’re not so something must be keeping them young. And I’m betting it’s not a juicer. Two, there’s this.” He turned the device so Steve could see the red readouts. “This place is giving off an energy signature that would be visible from space, Steve. There’s only one thing I know of that makes those kinds of waves.”

Steve stalked over and grabbed the tablet, holding it so that the outline matched up with the layout of the room. He walked over to the wall where the red shape flashed on the display and resumed searching with his free hand.

“What do you want it for?” Tony asked. His voice sounded pathetically small.

Steve ignored him.

“Steve. What do you want it for?” he asked again, more loudly this time.

“How do I extract the damn thing?” Steve asked in frustration. “You do it.”

Tony stared at him in the eye. “No.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

Steve turned away, face pinched in frustration. He tossed the tablet aside and it bounced off the floor. Tony winced and opened his mouth to chide the big man for nearly ruining their ticket back home. Before he could say anything Steve reared back and punched the wall with everything he had. The entire room seemed to shake. Plaster fell in chunks from the ceiling. Tony covered his head, ducking and swearing. When the dust cleared he left sizeable dent in the wall. Steve pulled back his arm and prepared to do it again.

“Steve! Stop!” Tony cried, grabbing his shoulder. “Talk to me. Just tell me.”

Steve glared at him, eyes hard chunks of blue glass. For a moment it seemed like he might strike again anyway. Then the tension drained from his body and Tony relaxed as well. Steve sighed, running his hands through his hair and realizing halfway through that his knuckles were bleeding. He turned so his back was against the dented wall and slid into a sitting position. Tony followed, eyes never leaving the super soldier’s face.

“You won’t understand,” Steve said. He sounded miserable.

“Steve,” Tony said, touching his injured hand gently. “Look at me.”

He did. They stared at one another. Steve was the first to flick his eyes away, growling under his breath and punching the floor in frustration. He hadn’t put any real force behind it, though, or Tony would likely have been left sitting in a crater.

“I thought I was doing the right thing. You know? It seemed so simple in the beginning. Bulk up, fight the bad guys, keep innocent people safe. That was the plan. And I was so _sure_ ,” his voice broke with anger. “I let Erskine and your dad and everyone else give me the serum thinking that I would always know what was right.”

He met Tony’s eyes and the smaller man shrank away from the pain he saw there.

“So much has happened, Tony. I… People have gotten hurt. So many innocent people. Nothing seems simple anymore. And what good did it do? For me, for the world? I don’t even know sometimes. It seems like a wash. And everyone I cared about? Everyone I loved?” he huffed a terrible laugh. “They’re all dead, or hate me, or stabbed me in the back.”

Tony tried not to let it show how much that one hurt. He didn’t argue, though. There wasn’t much point in that.

“The desire has always been there,” Steve said, jumping tracks randomly. “I try to hide it, I always have. And mostly I’ve been able to. I’ve taken it out on the bad guys. That’s been okay. But sometimes I’ve wondered, more and more over the last few years, what it would be like if I just let go. That’s the difference between the heroes and the villains, I think. Villains are comfortable working outside the rules. And I’ve wondered what that would be like, sure. Dreamed of it sometimes. But I always thought I knew the right thing to do. And that’s always what I did. But where did it get me?”

Tony remembered Steve’s body crumpled on the sandstone steps of the capitol building and shuddered. His fingers were sticky with blood from Steve’s wounded knuckles, but he didn’t pull away.

“Hydra knew that about me, somehow. I don’t know where they got their information but, man, it was good. This woman, their representative, showed up and gave me a window into this world where Steve Rogers is revered as a god. Worshiped. All-powerful.” His eyes took on a sheen as he spoke. “And there was the tesseract, the source of power underneath an entire empire. I saw that and I knew what I had to do.”

Tony felt every muscle in his body grow tense. He glanced at the cracked, but not broken, device a few feet away to reassure himself. He could grab it and lock the entire warehouse down in a couple of keystrokes.

“I needed to go back to the beginning and stop the whole thing. Don’t you see, Tony? I have to go back to the start. Stop Erskine from coming up with the serum in the first place, much less giving it to me. I thought it was the solution, but that hasn’t ever been true. It’s a curse. And I can break it.”

Tony sat back, stunned. Of all the crazy schemes he had been expecting, this story hadn’t even made the top ten.

“Hydra was a means to an end. And, I’ll admit, a way for me to live out some of my darker fantasies. Especially with you,” he added with a glance at Tony through his lashes. He looked almost shy. “But the plan was always to go back and wipe the slate clean. None of it would matter if I could just get to this point.”

“But?” Tony prompted, his mouth suddenly dry.

“Then you happened.”

They were both quiet, letting that sink in.

“I still know it’s the right thing to do, Tony. Starting over.”

“How can you say that?” Tony said. He did pull away, then, leaning against the wall and putting his head in his hands. “How can you think that we’d be better off without you? You won World War Two, Steve. You single-handedly wiped out Hydra!”

“And yet they still keep popping up! It’s like when your house is full of termites. You see one or two and you wipe them out, but you aren’t seeing the hundreds that live in the walls of the house. The only way to be rid of them for good is to start over.”

Tony snorted. “By going back in time and keeping the house from being built in the first place?”

“That’s the option I’ve got right now.”

“Okay, well, you need to take this in the spirit that it’s intended, but that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Steve glared at him.

“Seriously, Steve. You don’t think that smarter men than you have tried this before? Dicking around with time travel? I can think of at least three different examples where some brainiac scientist has thought, ‘oh hey, I’ll go back in time and kill Hitler, or save JFK, or stop the moon landing’ and guess what? Things always get worse. A thousand times worse. And you? You’re being selfish. And a chickenshit.”

“I can’t keep living like this.”

“You think I don’t feel that way?!”

Tony wasn’t quite sure when he started yelling. All he knew was that his ears were ringing and he was on his feet with his fists clenched at his side. “You don’t think we all feel that way, Steve? No one is happy here. But we put on our big boy pants every day and we _sacrifice_. That’s what we do.”

Steve glared at him, climbing to his feet. “Maybe I don’t want to do it anymore.”

“Well too fucking bad. Because there are no do-overs.”

“Yes there are, Tony. There’s one right here,” he stabbed a finger at the dent in the wall. “And you’re standing in the way.”

“God-damn right I am! You looked me in the eye and told me you didn’t want to live without me. What about that?”

Steve appeared stricken. His mouth worked and he turned around. “I already said. You weren’t part of the plan.”

“And yet here I am. You brought me along - and don’t tell me it’s just because you needed me to fix your stupid portal. You took me with you, so some part of you must have wanted me to stand in the way.” He stepped forward and put his hands tentatively on Steve’s waist, sliding them around him. The bigger man visibly relaxed. “You are well aware that I am nothing if not a meddling prick.”

“No shit.”

Tony smiled. “I think you wanted me to talk you out of it.”

“I was so sure.” Steve said with a sigh. “I thought that this was it.”

Tony relaxed then, knowing that the moment had passed. “Well, it’s the weirdest ‘how did you two get together’ story I’ve ever heard of, but that’s at least one good thing to come out of this mess. That and my cool scar,” Tony held up his hand bearing Steve’s bite mark.

“Tony, I-”

“I know, I know. You got to play the bad guy thinking that you’d wipe the slate clean. I understand. God knows I’m familiar enough with the gray area. But you don’t get to check out, winghead. Not today. Not on my watch.”

Steve’s hands covered Tony’s, warm and solid.

“We’re better together,” Tony said against his back. “Always have been. Always will be.”

“And we, what, walk away? Leave this awful world the way we found it?”

Tony shook his head. “I don’t think I can do that.”

“Then what?”

“I have a thought.”

Steve turned, eyebrows raised. Tony felt greatly relieved to see that the pinched look to his face had vanished. Instead he was smiling very slightly. “Of course you do,” he said.


	5. Chapter 5

In the end they had only to walk out the front door. Unlocking the tesseract from its hiding place took all of six minutes and none of the heavily armed guards so much as asked to frisk them on the way out. Tony found placing an object of great power in the pocket of his cargo pants deeply unnerving, but the cube wouldn’t fit anywhere else. Except, perhaps,  _ down _ his pants, and that was a non-starter.  

Once they made their way out of the Hydra compound and onto the street he found a Kum & Go bag in a trash can and wrapped the tesseract in that. The cube glowed faintly through the plastic. 

Peter Parker’s residence was one of the aspects of this dimension that remained consistent with their own. One look at the collection of lawn ornaments outside the small walkup in Queens and Tony knew he had found the right place. The windows were dark. He sat down on steps, plastic bag between his feet, and settled in to wait. It didn’t take long. 

Peter froze when he rounded the corner, dressed in civilian clothes with his backpack slung over one shoulder. He wore an expression that Tony knew very well - the one where your past has finally caught up with you. 

“It’s okay,” Tony said. His voice seemed very loud on the empty street. “I come with a good will, boy wonder.” 

“I’ve seen you somewhere before.” 

Tony nodded. “You kicked me in the head earlier.” 

The young man’s expression darkened. His body tensed, ready to jump, fight, or flee depending on what the moment called for.

“Calm down, man. I realize what this looks like, but I’m not here to do anything. Except to give you a present, actually.” He held aloft the glowing plastic bag. 

“I don’t think I want anything from you,  _ man _ .” 

Tony chuckled. “Trust me, you’re gonna want this. Come here.” 

Peter hesitated, then opened the gate. Tony stood, holding the bag in front of him and deliberately keeping both hands visible. “Why is it glowing?” 

“Don’t freak out.” 

“I’m not gonna- oh  _ shit _ !” Peter’s mouth fell open, his comic expression illuminated by the light of the revealed tesseract. “That’s not real. It can’t be real. How did you get it? It’s not real. Is it?” 

Tony smiled. He took comfort knowing that Peter was still Peter no matter the dimension. “It’s the real deal.” 

“Okay. Okay, let’s say for the sake of argument that you’re not lying and you’ve been carrying around the actual tesseract in a goddamn plastic sack - and that you somehow got that out of the most secure facility in the  _ world _ and past your buddy Captain Hydra - why would you bring it here? To me?” 

“The most secure facility in the world? Are you joking?” Realizing he was wandering off track, Tony cleared his throat and began again. “Haven’t you ever wondered if there were others like you? I don’t mean people who can cling to the side of buildings, because believe it or not that’s hardly the most remarkable thing about you. I mean others who think that the world is-” 

“Fucked?” Peter supplied. 

“Yeah. Exactly. It’s not supposed to be this way, is it?” 

Peter shook his head, eyes fixed on the tesseract in the other man’s hand. 

“You can fix it, Peter. But you need allies.” 

This broke the young hero’s reverie. He glared at Tony in a way that was achingly familiar. “I don’t need help.” 

“You do, sorry. With this in particular,” Tony gave the tesseract a little jiggle. “You’re smart, kid, don’t get me wrong, but this is a little outside beyond your ken. Besides, no matter how much we all try to convince ourselves to the contrary,  _ none _ of us can do this alone.” 

He reached for Peter’s hand and tipped the tesseract onto his palm. The younger man actually gasped. 

“You heard of a guy named Richards? Reed Richards?” 

Peter shook his head. 

“Look him up. If he’s alive here, he’ll be the one to help you. There will be others too, you need to find them. Get enough of ‘em together and you’ll be able to turn things around. I promise. In the meantime you guard that eerie glowing cube with your life, understand? No one can know it’s here.” 

He started down the stairs, but Peter grabbed his arm. 

“Who are you?” 

“A friend. A really, really long-distance friend.” 

The young man let him go. “This is, like, the second weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

“I know exactly what you mean. Take care, Peter.” 

“You too, weird stranger.” 

Tony walked away, shutting the gate quietly behind him. He turned the corner to where Steve waited for him, leaning against the side of an abandoned gas station. The blonde raised his eyebrows. 

“It’s done,” Tony said.

“I heard. I liked your little speech.” 

“Yeah, that was mostly for your benefit. Especially the part about nobody being able to do it without help. You didn’t miss that, did you?” 

“No,” Steve sighed. “I didn’t.” 

“Home?” 

“Please.” 

Whereas inside the Hydra facility he had seemed relieved at laying down the burden of his time travel plot, now Steve seemed empty. He had withdrawn into himself, providing only brief answers to Tony’s questions and often refusing to communicate at all. Waiting was frustrating, but the genius thought he understood. They walked in silence back to the chinese food restaurant where the portal had first appeared. He typed as they went, working out the calculations to return them to their home world. 

“You should know,” he said when they stood in the dirty alleyway once more, “the trip back is even more dicey than the one here. We had an actual portal going the other way, a stable connection. Here I’m basically taking a big pair of scissors and cutting a hole in the space-time continuum, then pointing us back at the portal. I have no idea where we’ll end up.” 

“But you’re pointing at the portal,” Steve said. 

“Yeah, but it’s like...that’s one end of a tunnel and I have no idea where we’ll come out when we get to the other side. We could land in the middle of the ocean for all I know.” 

His companion grimaced. “Not much of an exact science.” 

“If you wanted precision you should have been fucking Reed Richards for the past three days.” 

Steve considered. “He is kinda bendy.” 

“Fuck off, Rogers.” 

Tony hesitated, heart racing. “In case we don’t make it, or something happens, or whatever, I just want to say-” 

Steve held up a hand. “Don’t. Not now. Tony, I can’t right now. Later, okay?” 

“Okay,” he agreed weakly. The unspoken words sat like rocks in his gut. “I’m going to kiss you, though. That’s not negotiable.” 

“As long as we’re not saying goodbye.” 

“Not if I have anything to do with it.” 

Steve stepped forward and they embraced. The kiss was hot, tender, and full to the brim with promise. Big hands came up and cradled Tony’s face, thumbs rubbing delicate patterns into his cheeks. There it was again,  _ hope _ , breaking his heart. Tony tried to pour everything he couldn’t say through his body, holding on to his lover like a lifeline until Steve stepped away. 

“Ready?” 

“As I’ll ever be,” Tony answered and tapped a button on the tablet.

 

Looking back, it was obvious to Tony how terribly lonely he had been. Before he had stumbled on Steve in his secret Hydra lair it had been weeks, months even, since someone had touched him. He lived from project to project, throwing himself into his work as he always did when times got tough. He constructed a new jet, two partial AI systems, and a prototype for a wet computing helmet in only two weeks. Sadness was very productive. 

The touch of Steve’s hand against his face inside the bunker was the first tug on that loose thread which would eventually unravel him. Add in an excursion to an alternate dimension coupled with the hottest sex imaginable and his experience turned out to be exactly what the doctor had ordered. If the doctor were a complete lunatic, of course. Nevertheless, Tony felt better than he had in years - awake and alive in ways he thought might be permanently lost to him. He even experienced the return trip from Earth 3640 as exhilarating in its strangeness rather than scary. And when the two of them landed, on solid ground no less, Tony thought he could die happy at that moment. 

“What a rush!” he cried, jumping to his feet. He had a foggy head, sure, and felt sick to his stomach as he had been when they arrived on the other side. But he was  _ alive _ and life was  _ amazing _ . “Where do you think we ended up?” 

Steve stared at him, his face a pale mask of fear. “Tony…” 

“What?” he asked, shortly before an overwhelming wave of dizziness forced him to his knees.  

“Tony, you’re bleeding. Just stay still. Oh, god, it’s coming faster!” Steve’s voice was a ragged broken and very faraway thing. 

Tony reached up and touched the side of his neck. His fingers came away wet with blood. He fell onto his side and the world around them went gray. 

“Tony!” 

He tried to say “I’m with you, Steve” and “I’m yours” but his mouth wouldn’t make words. He could only gurgle and then he could do nothing. Nothing at all. 

  
  


Time stretched out like old elastic. Information came to him in snippets, most of which he immediately forgot. 

“...reentered in the Appalachian woods.” 

“He just ran in here with Mr. Stark in his arms, covered in blood. I’ve never seen anything…” 

“...Rogers being detained…questioning.” 

“Coma.” 

“Hydra.” 

“...he recover?” 

“Unclear.” 

“Stable.” 

“Let him rest.” 

 

Tony opened his eyes. There wasn’t much to see, really. Only a nondescript hospital ceiling and lord knew he’d seen plenty of those in his day. Monitors beeped, the door to his room was open and quiet voices floated in from the hallway beyond. Many parts of him hurt, some quite badly. Tony’s head was throbbing with particular violence. He tried to speak, to ask for a drink of water, but his voice was only a hollow inhuman croak.  _ Steve. Where is Steve?  _

It was a relief to find his arms capable of movement even as he fumbled with the call button on the side of the bed. A moment later a nurse stuck her head in the room, no doubt expecting some kind of malfunction. She did not foresee Tony Stark sitting up in bed and pointing at his empty water glass. 

“Oh, good gracious! Mr. Stark! Water? Yes, of course. Just one moment.” She hurried out of the room, without his glass. Tony sat back and sighed in frustration. 

When the nurse returned, bearing not merely a small cup but - praise whatever gods were left - an actual pitcher of ice water, she had company. It was not the visitor Tony had been expecting, and certainly not the one he had been hoping for. Carol Danvers smiled when she saw him, though, and that was something. 

“Am I glad to see you,” she said. 

Tony sucked cool water into his mouth and down his throat, sighing in pleasure. Carol settled herself in the chair beside Tony’s bed while the nurse puttered around taking measurements. 

“I’d ask how you are, but I probably know better than you do at this point.” 

“Where am I?” 

“You’re at a hospital in Missouri. Do you remember how you got here?” 

Tony shook his head. Carol’s mouth flattened into a straight line. 

“I need to know what you do remember, okay? Maybe not right now, because I understand that you need to rest, but soon. They took Steve, Tony. Shield has him locked up, under investigation.” 

“What? Why?” Tony stammered, as though he didn’t already know. He started getting dizzy, the world blurring before his eyes. He blinked to clear them, pressing the heels of his hands against his temples. 

“He was...wearing a Hydra uniform when he took you here, Tony. And you, well, you weren’t in good shape. Let’s just say that. Bruises. Bite marks,” she hesitated, “signs of...trauma.” 

Tony closed his eyes. “The whole thing is all a big misunderstanding.” 

“I sure hope so. For his sake, more than yours.” 

“What happened to me?” 

Carol sat back and crossed her legs. “A little bird told me you went skipping dimensions and you got what basically amounts to the bends. Your body couldn’t adjust to all the changes and your nervous system went crazy. They weren’t sure you were going to recover for a while. But now that you’re awake?” She shrugged. “I don’t know. Anything is possible, but it probably won’t be quick.” 

Laying his head back on the pillow, Tony tried to think. The act was like operating an abacus underwater, nothing stayed where he put it for very long. “Bring someone from Shield here, let me talk to them. Can you do that for me? They need to know the whole story about Steve.” 

“What were you two even doing, Tony? Why didn’t you call the rest of us?” 

“It’s a long story. And I’m tired now,” he added quickly. 

Carol sighed through her nose. “Something weird is going on, I can feel it. And I’m not going to press you since you’re sick, but the story is going to come out eventually, Tony.” 

“Can you get someone here? Please?” 

“I’ll try.” She pushed her chair back and rose. Tony watched her, eyes watering with the effort of staying conscious. “You focus on getting better, okay? Steve can take care of himself.” 

_ Not on this one, _ Tony thought. He settled for trying to smile and nodding his head. Carol let herself out, shutting the door behind her. The nurse took his temperature and frowned at the thermometer as though it had personally offended her. 

“I’m gonna get the doctor to come in and give you an update, okay hon?” she said. 

“Sure,” Tony said, already three-quarters asleep. 

  
  


SHIELD did send an agent, a stone-faced woman Tony didn’t recognize. He attempted to draw her out, assess what Steve had already told her so that he could back up the other man’s story, but she would give him nothing. So, he told his version of the tale. The story amounted to a heavily edited accounting of what happened, with the addition of a flat-out lie. The woman listened, made some notes on her device, and when Tony finished nodded once. After that she simply got up and left the room without another word. Left stunned, Tony could only hope he had done a good enough job. 

He remained stuck at the hospital for another week and a half, relearning his body’s basic functions. The day when he hobbled to the bathroom and took a piss all on his own was a tremendous milestone. As was the morning he was allowed to transfer to a hospital in New York. The Avengers came to see him, arriving solo and in pairs. Tony almost cried when Peter walked through the door, awkwardly presenting the patient with a stuffed bear. The young man permitted Tony to hug him too hard for too long without argument. 

Bruce gave him the update on Steve. “They held him for almost two weeks, questioned him a lot, but I guess he wouldn’t give them anything. He was a brick wall when they tried to interrogate him. Then they talked to you and a day later Steve was back on the street. He’s on suspended duty, not supposed to respond to any calls. Carol’s leading the team until he’s cleared.” 

“Is he back at the mansion?” 

Bruce nodded. “He asked about you. I told him to come see for himself, but he, ah, didn’t seem to think that was a good idea.” 

Tony sighed, closing his eyes. 

“I’m not going to ask you what happened. I have a feeling that would be a waste of time.”

“It would,” Tony confirmed. 

“He’s in rough shape, Tony.” 

“And what am I, chopped liver?” he demanded, mostly to change the subject.

Bruce shook his head. “It’s different. You’re injured, but you seem the same to me. Steve has changed somehow. He’s not himself. I suspect that’s why Shield kept him for so long too. Whatever the two of you went through, the experience broke him somehow.” 

_ That’s funny, _ Tony thought,  _ it  _ healed _ me.  _   
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter to go! All will be resolved, I promise. Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

While Tony lay bedridden, passing in and out of consciousness, he thought about nothing so much as Steve. What would he say when they saw each other again? What would he do if the super soldier was arrested, imprisoned even? How would Tony convince their opposition that this was all one big miscommunication? Tony waited, and plotted, and anticipated the moment Steve would walk through the door. Except he never did. Not in Missouri and not in New York. He didn’t come to visit Tony a single time. Eventually, Tony was released from the hospital and allowed to return home. This was only after the doctor had extracted the superhero’s promise that he would retire once and for all. He was in no fit shape to go “flying around the city” anymore. Tony didn’t argue. 

Being home was lonely. Being with the Avengers even more so. Though SHIELD had released Steve, they still hadn’t cleared him to participate in Avengers missions. Jan told him that no one had seen or heard from Cap in over a week. He was off the grid. 

All of his frustration and heartbreak had nowhere to go, so Tony threw himself into getting better. He was able to walk with the help of a cane when he returned home, but that was not good enough. Not by a long shot. Much to Rhodey’s shock, Tony attended all of his physical therapy appointments every week and even booked additional sessions. He built his own equipment at home and researched experimental neurological techniques that might speed up the process of recovery. He started running, jogging for half a mile on the treadmill until his body ached and his t-shirt soaked through with sweat. He pushed himself and bit by bit his physicality responded. 

Bruce reported that Steve had returned from who-knows-where and rejoined the Avengers in an advisory role. Tony hacked into the SHIELD database and devoured their case file on Captain America, including the pending investigation. He laughed himself silly at the details they had overlooked. Steve had covered his tracks better than Tony anticipated. All the suits had going for them was the testimony of an experimental physicist who claimed Steve kidnapped her and forced her to work on Richards’s designs for the interdimensional portal. Tony read her testimony carefully, and audibly sighed with relief when she confirmed that Captain America had not hurt her in any way. It was the work of a moment for Tony to pay her off, single-handedly funding her research for the next fifteen years. 

At night, when he lay in his cold bed with aching muscles that still stubbornly refused to cooperate, Tony asked himself what he thought he was doing. Why work so hard to defend a man who had kidnapped and hurt him? The same guy who, after all was said and done, discarded his best friend, now lover, like he was nothing.  _ Because that’s not the whole story, _ he told himself firmly. Putting himself in Steve’s place, Tony could see the darkness his friend had fallen into. Mired in shame, self-hatred, confusion, plus whatever else had been going on  _ before _ the whole mess started - of course Steve was a changed man. He needed Tony to wait, to be patient. 

Time passed. Tony didn’t reach out, made no attempt to draw Steve from the shadowy emotional cave he retreated to. He focused instead on his recovery, making strides which astounded his doctors and physical therapists. He continued to check in on Steve’s case file as well, bribing the people who needed bribed, and altering records where they needed altering. All of it was terribly illegal as well as highly immoral, but Tony didn’t care. He needed it to go away. 

During the times that hope fled him and he started to think about drinking again, Tony went for a run. He was able to do it outside now, jogging down the street and back. He liked to run at twilight when he was less likely to be disturbed, watching the sunset as he plodded along. 

One morning he woke up and realized six months had passed since he had flown out to investigate the Hydra base. He sat up, looking around his posh, but empty bedroom and shook his head. “Nope,” he said out loud. “Screw it.” He got dressed and headed to Avengers Mansion. 

 

“Tony!” Peter cried around a mouth full of corn flakes. “We missed you, man. Where you been? Hey, where’s your cane?” 

“Don’t need it anymore,” Tony replied. “Steve here?” 

Jan and Peter, sitting across the table from one another, exchanged glances. “Yeah,” Jan responded slowly. “He’s in the kitchen, I think.” 

“Thanks,” Tony said, walking away. He turned the corner into the big kitchen, bathed in yellow light as it always was this time of morning. Then he stopped, breath stolen, chest clenched. Steve stood at the other end of the room, holding a mug of coffee and staring out the window. He still wore his pajamas, flannel bottoms and a white t-shirt. Though Tony was the one who came closest to death, Steve had somehow aged ten years. 

“I need to talk to you.” 

Steve turned, startled out of his reverie. Their eyes met and Tony held his breath. Steve immediately glanced away, turning back to the window. “Can it wait?” 

All of the genius’s repressed anger built up over the last six months resurfaced in a single hot rush. He grabbed the object nearest to hand, a pink coffee mug, and hurtled it with all his strength. It struck the window just to the left of Steve’s head, shattered and fell to the floor. That got his attention. Even moreso when Tony threw himself at the bigger man, knocking him back into the window. It cracked, but did not break. 

The rest of their altercation was a blur. Steve had the clear size and strength advantage, but Tony was fast, and scrappy, and  _ furious _ . He got in a few good blows before his opponent took hold of his wrists, holding tight. 

“Stop! Tony, stop it.” 

Peter and Jan watched from the doorway, poised to intervene. “Everything okay in here?” the young Avenger asked. 

Tony stamped on the instep of Steve’s bare foot, eliciting a yelp. The blonde responded by shoving him over the kitchen island, hands pinned behind his back, held immobile by one big hand on the back of his neck. “Damn it, Tony,” he growled. 

“Get off me!” the smaller man yelled, squirming to no effect. 

“Do you...maybe need a minute?” Jan asked. She tugged on the sleeve of Peter’s shirt. “C’mon. Let’s give them the room.” 

He didn’t look happy about it, but Peter let himself be led away. Tony snarled in rage, fighting with all his strength. It wasn’t nearly enough. 

“Tony,” Steve repeated, “it’s time to stop. All right? Just quit and I’ll let you up.” 

“Fuck you!” 

Steve sighed, pressing down with enough force that the air rushed from Tony’s lungs. “Stop fighting me.” 

_ Don’t fight _ . He’d said that enough times before, hadn’t he? Tony remembered the shower, the cool tile pressed against his cheek as Steve rammed him from behind, fingers gripping his hips with bruising force.  _ Don’t fight me, Tony. You’re going to lose.  _

“Okay,” he coughed. “Okay, fine. Get off.” 

Steve hesitated a moment, then stepped back. Tony pushed himself to his feet, dizzy and weaker than he had been in days. He’d definitely pushed it too far for his delicate condition. He took a step forward, stumbled, and collapsed. Steve rushed to him, catching Tony around the chest before he hit the tile. 

“Here, sit down you lunatic,” Steve admonished, snagging a chair from the bar and dragging it over. He helped Tony into it, handsome face pinched with concern. Then Steve removed himself to a respectful distance. 

For his part, Tony couldn’t seem to keep his hands from shaking. He settled them on his lap, fists clenched in an attempt to hide his weakness. Now that the fight had left him he found himself humiliatingly close to tears. 

“Where were you?” he demanded. 

“Tony…” 

“Look at me, damn you!” 

Steve looked up, meeting his eyes. Shame was stamped on his features like a tattoo, wrenching them into a painful arrangement that shattered Tony’s resolve. 

“You made me promise that it wouldn’t be goodbye,” he said. 

“What do you want me to say?” Steve asked, voice ragged. “I couldn’t, Tony. I must have tried a dozen different times. When they released me I made it all the way back to the hospital in Missouri and then I just...stood outside in the freezing cold. I just couldn’t make myself go in.” 

“Why?”

“You know the truth, now. About me. Who, or  _ what _ , I really am. You’ve seen the monster, Tony, and I...I couldn’t face what you might think of me. They showed me pictures...of you, your injuries. Kept asking me where you got them and I couldn’t bring myself to tell them that it was from  _ me. _ ” 

“I don’t blame you for-” 

“ _ I  _ do,” Steve interrupted. “I blame me. I unleashed my demons on you, Tony, I  _ hurt  _ you and I convinced myself it was all okay because I’d just travel back in time and it would never have happened. So  _ stupid _ !” He punched the cabinet hard enough to rattle the glassware, then braced his hands on the counter, eyes closed. 

Tony sighed. He caught his breath, staring at the crack in the glass. “We’re lucky we didn’t both go ass over teakettle through the window there.” 

Steve followed his gaze. “I’m sorry, Tony. Sorrier than you’ll ever know.” 

“It was real, though. Wasn’t it?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, something happened. With us. Something that  _ mattered _ .” 

A beat, then: “Yes. At least...for me, it did. But-” 

Tony held up his hand. “No, listen. Just listen to me. Okay?” 

The big man nodded, straightening up and fixing Tony with the focused stare he was used to seeing only at mission briefings. 

“Do you know what life was like for me before? Yeah, I did a pretty good job of hiding how miserable I was,” he continued when Steve shook his head. “Life was as terrible as it had ever been. Before I signed up for that mission to go clear out suspected Hydra bases I hadn’t seen or talked to anyone in months. I found myself utterly alone. Not to mention obsolete, with nothing to look forward to.” He swallowed and made himself say, “And I was drinking again.”  

Steve sighed and took a step forward, though he stopped himself from actually reaching out. “I didn’t know.” 

“No one did. Anyway, I took the reconnaissance mission as  a way to get out of my own head, found you and...well, you know the rest. Something happened to me out there. With you. I don’t know what exactly, but even when it was dangerous and frightening and confusing I still felt more...alive.” 

“Hope,” Steve said quietly. 

“Exactly,” Tony replied, unable to keep the bitter edge out of his voice. “And then after all of that...poof, you’re gone. A ghost. I wondered sometimes if anything even happened at all. Like maybe I had a very vivid fever dream. And  _ still _ I held on, waiting for you until it became obvious that you were never going to come.” 

“I should have been there.” 

“Fucking right, you should have,” Tony snapped, his anger breaking the surface once more. “You had no right to just abandon me when I needed you most. And, why? Because you thought I would be  _ mad _ at you?” 

“You should be mad at me. You should hate me,” Steve insisted. 

“Well, guess what? I don’t, actually. Despite my best efforts.” 

“I used you, Tony. I forced you-” 

“Nope,” Tony interrupted, his voice firm. “No you didn’t. You didn’t rape me, you didn’t press me into service. Sure the whole consent issue was a little shaky, but I think we both liked that. I know I did. Sex without a little fear is like ice cream without a little hot fudge. And you didn’t force me to work with you on the portal, or anything else. I stuck around, I helped you, I fucked you because I  _ wanted _ to. Seriously, do you really think this little of me? We’ve worked together for the better part of our adult lives, you know I’m not helpless.” 

“Of course not, but I took your armor.” 

“Psh, come on. How many times has some two-bit villain locked up my tech? Give me a break. I am honestly offended. I’m not sugarcoating it, either. You did stab me and tie me up, and that I wasn’t party to, but everything after that? My choice. All of it.” 

Steve shook his head. “I don’t believe that.” 

“Well, tough shit. It’s the truth.” 

“You almost died, Tony. They wouldn’t even let me see you in the hospital because it would be too upsetting for me. That’s what they said to me when I tried to get in. Blood was coming out of your  _ eyes _ , Tony. Even after everything we’ve been through, I...I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget that.” 

Tony sighed, carefully rising from the chair. His legs felt a little more steady, so he risked taking the few steps to the counter where Steve was hunched over himself like a wounded animal. He leaned over next to the super soldier, tilting his head until they were face to face. 

“Are you a cute redhead named Rebecca?” 

“What?” 

“Well, are you?” 

“No,” Steve answered, frowning. 

“Well, then you’re not the reason I wasn’t paying more attention to the astrophysics lectures at MIT.  _ I’m _ the reason I almost died, messing around with the time stream the way I did. It was my own carelessness that did me in, Steve. Not you. I know my way around self-loathing, you know that as well as anyone, so you need to take some advice from an expert. Not everything is your fault.” 

“Why are you so bent on defending me?” Steve snapped, standing up and stalking away. He started to fix a cup of coffee, banging the cabinets loudly in the act. “You did all this stuff, lying to Shield, altering documents - I know that was you, don’t even start with me - when I never asked you to. I was taking responsibility for my actions, Tony. I was ready to do the time.” 

“Jeez, sorry for keeping you out of prison.” 

Slamming the coffee pot back into the machine so hard its contents sloshed all over, Steve swore under his breath. “What is it with you? You think you have control over everything.” 

“Are you kidding? Honey, it’s taken me  _ weeks  _ to take a shower by myself, and I don’t mean in the fun way. I’m talking about nurse-assisted sponge-baths. This has been the most humiliating experience of my entire life, and I’ve never been more aware of my own fucking limitations, thank you very much. And, while we’re on the subject, if I can learn to walk and run again, you can damn sure learn to let go of your past mistakes. You were only looking for a way out, and you found one. Or it found you. You didn’t do anything you can’t come back from, Cap.” 

Steve set the cup in front of Tony on the counter, pushing it forward with a finger. “You make it sound so simple. You forgave me that easily?” 

“Fuck, no. I’m mad as hell at you! But not because of what happened in Iceland,” he clarified, grabbing Steve’s arm when he tried to move away. Steve’s skin under his fingers was electric. “Because I thought we had something and then you just disappeared.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.” He bent forward until their foreheads were pressed together, “I just couldn’t.” 

“Okay,” Tony breathed. “Okay.” 

“The other shoe is going to drop with Hydra, Tony. They haven’t done anything yet, but no way are they going to let my betrayal go unanswered.” 

“I know.” Tony closed his eyes. “I’ve had feelers out for weeks looking for any kind of warning sign.” 

Steve snorted. “You amaze me.” 

“If you say ‘I don’t deserve you’ or some other cliche bullshit I  _ am _ going to actually push you out the window.” 

“What should I say, then?” 

Tony smiled. “Tell me what you want.” 

A shiver passed through the bigger man. His hands came to rest on the sides of Tony’s face and he pulled him forward, pressing their lips together. They kissed for a long time, exploring and caressing until Tony took Steve’s hand and guided it into his hair. He curled the bigger man’s fingers into a fist, staring expectantly when Steve pulled back in surprise. 

“Tony, I can’t-” 

“Can I tell you what I  _ don’t _ want? I don’t want you to handle me like a china doll out of some misplaced sense of guilt. I liked what we did in bed together. A lot.” He drew out the ‘l’ sound in the word, licking his lips. Steve’s eyes darkened.  

“I...don’t want to hurt you.” 

“Okay, now you’re just lying. Hey, hey, I’m kidding,” he added when Steve started to withdraw. “Too soon? Probably too soon. Sorry. My point is, I want you, Steve. All of you.” 

“Even this?” he asked, seizing Tony by the hair with vicious strength. Tony hissed, arching his back, eyes fluttering closed. 

“Fuck, yes. You, ah, you said it yourself. I was just waiting for someone to master me.” 

“God, Tony,” Steve moaned. He snatched Tony up for a kiss, growling low in his throat. The sound went directly to Tony’s cock, which was showing interest in something for the first time in months. That alone made the smaller man sag with relief. 

“Oh, thank Christ,” he cried, “Part of me was afraid the plumbing would never work right again.” 

“Should we test it out?” Steve asked huskily. “Are you...I don’t know, well enough? Can we?” 

Tony laughed. “You look like a kid who’s been offered a second helping of dessert.” 

“I missed you.” He meant it. 

“Me too. Man, how screwed up are we?” 

Steve shrugged. “Completely.” 

 

They did manage to contain themselves until they got to Steve’s room. Tony locked the door behind them and fell into the bigger man’s arms, holding on for dear life. Steve kissed him with deep passion, fingers tangling in his dark hair again. He pulled, forcing Tony’s neck back and sucked on the flesh there, using teeth and tongue to make the smaller man’s knees buckle. Tony clutched at his shoulders, gasping. 

“Steve, fuck. Don’t stop.” 

“Are you really mine?” Steve demanded. 

“Yes,” Tony asked, choking on the rest of the sentence when Steve’s hand grabbed his dick through his jeans, squeezing. “Oh, god, yes.” 

“I don’t think I can control myself,” Steve said, hands fumbling over the buckle and zipper, “Not with you. I feel like I’m out of my mind.” 

“Do it, Steve. Anything. I don’t fucking care, just don’t stop.” 

Tony’s cock sprang free, hot, and hard, and dripping wet. Steve kept his savage grip on Tony’s hair with one hand, using the other to smear precome around the head of Tony’s dick. “Tell me what you want,” he growled. 

“Fuck me. I want you to fuck me. I can’t...oh  _ shit _ ...I can’t do any Cirque du Soliel moves, but...I...I...need you.” 

“I don’t know what that is.” 

“Circus troupe. Acrobats.” 

“Ah. How’s doggie style?” 

“Perfect. Ah, god, do that again,” he pleaded, biting his lip as Steve manhandled his cock with rough strokes. 

“Damn it, I’m gonna come in my pants at this rate,” Steve growled, giving Tony a nudge toward the bed. “Go. Hurry up.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Mmmm,” he moaned happily, shedding his clothes with all possible speed. 

Tony sat on the edge of the bed, halfheartedly working his way out of his shoes and socks, but mostly watching Steve. The morning light through the windows bathed him in yellow and white, highlighting the peaks and valleys of his musculature. He was too thin, Tony noted, no doubt ravaged by his own self-imposed punishment. 

“Come here.” 

Steve stepped forward and Tony nuzzled his face against the other man’s stomach, kissing 

and letting his hands skim up Steve’s bare legs. The big man shivered. Tony readjusted himself, lying on his stomach so he could take that massive cock in his mouth once again. Steve threw his head back, groaning lustily, as Tony took him in as far as he could. 

“I’m gonna fuck you,” Steve promised, petting Tony’s head as he thrust shallowly. “Ah, damn, you’ve got to stop.” 

Obediently, Tony pulled away. “Where do you want me?” 

“On your knees. Hands on the headboard. Go on,” Steve prompted with a swat on his lover’s backside. “I’m not gonna last much longer and I want to fill your ass with cum.” 

Tony braced himself on the headboard, which took a significant amount of strain off of his body. He suspected that was Steve’s reasoning for that order in the first place, a thought that filled him with warmth. He spread his legs, thrusting his ass in the air. He could see Steve moving out of the corner of his eye, slicking up his cock with lube from the bedside drawer. The mattress shifted with his weight and he approached, taking hold of Tony with one hand while the other, slick and cool, probed at his entrance. 

“Nah, fuck that. Just do it.” 

“You really do want it rough, don’t you?” 

“Brutal, baby.” 

“God, you were made for me. Come here,” he groaned, pressing himself against Tony’s entrance. “You take your hands off the headboard and I’ll stop, understood?” 

Tony nodded, trembling. The onslaught began shortly after that. He bit his lip, then cried out anyway. The experience of being stretched was brutally painful, but also cathartic in a way. Hot fudge on the ice cream. After a while he stopped suppressing the noises of protest and let them roll freely. Moments after that he was begging, pleading for a respite. 

“Steve, I can’t! I can’t do it. Fuck, it’s too much.” 

“You’ll take it. And you’ll thank me for it, won’t you?” 

Steve leaned over, skimming his hands down Tony’s front and grasping his dick firmly. He gave it a couple rough strokes, thrusting his enormous dick in the same motion. Tony yelled. Releasing him, Steve put his hands on Tony’s hips and pulled him back, impaling the smaller man without mercy. He pounded for a few minutes, riding Tony so hard it was difficult to keep his hands steady on the bed as ordered. 

“Say thank you,” Steve demanded. 

“Fuck off,” Tony shot back, twisting his body away defiantly. 

“Oh no, no, no. That’s not gonna work for me, slut.” Steve grabbed him, shoving Tony up against the headboard and humping for all he was worth. “I’m not going to let you come until you say it.” 

“Steve, please. I can’t...I’m gonna-” 

“No you’re not. Not until I say so,” he insisted, knocking away Tony’s hand which was massaging his leaking cock. “Say it.” 

“T-thank you.” 

“For what?” 

“For...for fucking me. Now  _ please... _ !” 

“Ah, fuck, you beg so pretty. I’m gonna come, Tony. You ready? You ready to take my load? Touch yourself, yeah, go on. Fuck!” Steve’s thrusts grew erratic, his breathing heavy. Tony shut his eyes and stroked his cock, matching the bigger man’s rhythm. Orgasm crashed through him like a car wreck, smashing his cognition to pieces. He fell onto the mattress, fingers tangling in the sheets while Steve rode to completion, swearing and pumping hot jets of cum inside him. He threw his head back, groaning, then collapsed the other direction, smothering Tony with his bulk. 

“I need...to breath,” Tony insisted. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Steve said, immediately rolling away. He propped himself up on one elbow, giving the other man a look that was half concern and half contrition. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you?” 

“You did,” Tony confirmed, reaching out to smooth the wrinkle between Steve’s brows, “but I liked it. A whole fucking lot.” 

“I shouldn’t have gone so hard. You’re still recovering.” 

“Stop,” Tony warned. “I told you, I was into it. You’re not allowed to go down that rabbit hole. Not right now.” 

“Okay,” Steve agreed. He pillowed his head on his arms, watching Tony as he rearranged his sore body, trying to find a comfortable position. “I love you.” 

Tony stared. “I...don’t know what to do with that information right now.” 

“You don’t have to do anything. I just felt like...I needed to say it. I should have earlier. I almost didn’t get the chance.” 

“Life’s probably always going to be like that. We both signed up for this hero gig knowing the risks, right?” 

Steve nodded. “I heard you retired. For real this time.” 

“Remember what you said to me? Before?” 

He smiled. “You’ll never retire.” 

“A-yup.” 

“So,” Steve rolled onto his back, all sweaty abs and ‘aw shucks’ all-American good looks, “will you come back home? To the mansion, I mean. I’d like you to. So would everyone else.” 

“Moving in together? Already?” Tony joked. 

“It’d be good for your recovery, wouldn’t it? And, well, I might as well just say it. I don’t want to be without you again.” 

Tony’s smile was watery. “I told you before, knucklehead. I’m yours.” 

“Is that a yes?” 

“To be clear, that’s a hell yes. So long as you promise to fuck me silly on the regular and not muck about with time travel ever again. Let’s just stick to giant frog monsters and malevolent demigods from here on out, okay?” 

“Okay.” Steve reached out, pulling Tony’s sweaty head onto his chest where his heartbeat pounded steadily. 

“I love you too. You know that, right?” 

“It’s always nice to hear.” 

“Well, I do. Despite everything. Or maybe because of it. I don’t know, it’s all kind of jumbled, but I am clear on how I feel about you at least.” 

“I, uh, kept the collar.” 

Tony raised his head, looking the blonde squarely in the eye. “I take it all back.” 

They both laughed, long and loud. Steve squeezed him tight and Tony shut his eyes. His body was sore as hell, but his heart had never been so full. 

 

Logan walked into the kitchen to find it in shambles, crockery smashed on the floor, one panel of the floor-to-ceiling window hopelessly cracked, and coffee dripping onto the floor. He looked around, hand on his hip, sniffing the air. His nose wrinkled. “Ugh,” he muttered, setting his mug in the sink and beating a hasty retreat. “People need to get a room.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so my funny little story comes to a close. Though, it didn't end up being very little at all, did it? I honestly have no idea what happened - I was just trying to write some sexy Hydra!Cap porn and all of THIS spilled out everywhere. It was a great ride, though - I had a criminal amount of fun writing this fic. 
> 
> I can't overstate how much I appreciate the encouragement of my readers throughout - your input has been so meaningful. I hope you enjoyed the conclusion of the tale! Thanks, as always, for reading. Happy New Year!

**Author's Note:**

> UPDATE: You guys! I'm officially a published author! Woo! If you want to check out my book you can find it here: https://www.cmrandles.com/books (it's chock full of juicy romance and gay porn, I promise!)


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